The JOVAN Saga
by magensby
Summary: A Collection of One-Shots of our couple Evangeline Williamson and John McBain. From romance to comedy, come along for the ride!
1. Chapter 1

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 1 Held Hostage**

Well just enough time left on my lunch break for me to stop by the store and pick up the things that I need for making dinner tonight because I feel in the mood to cook for a change. No take out for me this day. I want homemade everything. The list is short so it should not take long to get them. A quick trip through the check out line and I make it to the exit door with time to spare. Just as the door opens someone bumps me from behind and it takes everything for me to hold onto my purse and grocery bag.

When I make it to the sidewalk outside of the store there are police cars everywhere. The man behind me grabs me and holds me by my waist with a gun to my head. Oh no, what is happening! I hear him shout to the officers that if they don't back up that he will shoot me. He squeezes my waist tight and with the adrenalin running through me, couple that with the cramps from my period and his pressure on my stomach I bend over and throw up all over our shoes. Just as I bend over I hear several gunshots. The gunman falls backwards and takes me with him. In the course of the fall I drop my purse and my grocery bag.

The officers rush to us and pull me away from the gunman. The gunman is dead. One officer walks me to his car and sits me down while we wait for an ambulance. He asks me if I am all right and I ask him what happened. He responds that the man held up the grocery store and was making his exit. Evidently the store clerk had the presence of mind to press the silent alarm that alerted the police. Officers were already on their usual patrol of this area and received the alert and arrived just in time. The officer apologizes that I was subjected to such an ordeal. Just at that moment the ambulance arrives and the officer helps me over so that the EMTs can check me out for any injuries. They decide to take me to the hospital as a precaution and I acquiesce.

At the hospital the ER personnel complete the examination and deem me fit to leave. I thank them for their proper care and call my sister for a ride back to the store to collect my car. Layla fusses at me for not calling her earlier but she's so thankful that I am all right. Upon arrival at the store I find a note on my car from the store manager asking me to stop in before I leave with my car. She meets me at the store entrance and tells me that she wants to replace everything that I lost when the gunman grabbed me and plus she will add a fully cooked meal from their hot bar. I thanked her for her kindness and received the packages with appreciation.

Once at home I find a police officer waiting for me in the lobby of my building. He informs me that they found the gunman's car and after a thorough search found evidence that linked him to the Killing Club Killer case. As a matter of fact the evidence collected was enough to locate his accomplices and to rescue the missing Natalie Buchanan who is now in the hospital. A bit puzzled why the officer felt the need to tell me this he said that he stopped by to check on me and since I too was a victim of the KCK he wanted me to know that their reign of terror was now over. What a kind gesture. After thanking the officer for his concern he left and I made my way up to my apartment to take a nice hot shower and to eat my dinner.

So Natalie was rescued. I am sure that John did the rescuing and is very happy to have his 'luv' with him again. I scold myself for that because it sounds so petty and I am grateful that Natalie is now safe even though she would not have wished the same for me. Well what a relief that the KCK case is over. Now maybe I can breathe again without worrying if they will come after me again.

The shower feels good and I even shampoo my hair wanting to rid my entire body of any remembrance of what happened today. One would think that I will freak out about someone being shot dead behind me but I haven't. The man planned to kill me so I feel no regret for his death. Plus after having someone kidnap you, tie you to a pole and set a fire at your feet you lose a bit of sympathy along the way.

Placing my food on the table I dig in and completely enjoy it. I didn't realize how hungry I was. They even gave me dessert and I relished that. Just as I clean up the kitchen I hear a knock at my front door. It is probably Layla checking on me. I open the door and am surprised to see John. He's standing there looking lost. Oh, he's probably just coming from visiting Natalie at the hospital and is stopping to tell me of the rescue.

" _Hello John. I already know about Natalie's rescue. I'm sure that you were the one to rescue her and that you are so relieved that she is now safe. What tore you away from her?"_

" _How do you know about Natalie? It doesn't matter I'm not here about that anyway. I heard about what happened to you today and I wanted to see that you were okay."_

" _Yes I'm okay John thanks to the police officers who arrived just in time at the grocery store."_

" _I'm sorry that this happened to you Evangeline."_

" _Well you can see that I am fine so you can leave now and return to Natalie."_

" _I'm not going back to the hospital. Natalie has her family to look after her. I'm here to look after you."_

" _I have my sister for that John. I told you before that until you can say how you feel I have nothing else to say to you."_

" _When I heard about what happened to you today I felt like my world was ending. When the officer told me that the gunman held a gun to your head I thought that you were dead. The officer hurriedly told me that you were checked over at the hospital and released. No one told me anything until after Natalie's rescue. Ever since you and I broke up the officers avoid mentioning your name around me. They probably know that it is a sensitive subject for me. It wasn't until I returned from the rescue that I learned that the information gathered to rescue Natalie came from the gunman who held you. I am sorry that happened to you."_

" _Why are you here John? What do you want from me? I have had a wretched day and I am not in the mood for any of your brooding and nonsense. What do you want?"_

" _I want you! I LOVE YOU! I need you! Evangeline I am dying without you. I thought that I lost you today and I just need to be with you so that my eyes can convince my head and heart that you are still alive. I won't touch you but can I just stay here tonight? I will just sit on the sofa and you can go to your bedroom and sleep and I won't bother you I promise. I just need to be near you. Please."_

" _You are asking an awful lot John. I see that you are in a state so I won't put you out but the sofa is as far as you will go. Go ahead and sit down because I am going to bed. If you step one foot in my bedroom your head will meet my baseball bat. Do we understand each other?"_

" _Yes Evangeline we understand each other. Go to bed."_

" _Good night John."_

" _Good night Evangeline and thank you."_

Why did I agree to this? I'm tired and so I must be delirious. I'm going to bed. I go to my bedroom and lock my door. In a way I am glad that John is here. I feel safer. I sleep peacefully and wake up refreshed. When I make it to the living room John is gone. On the end table I see a note.

'Thank you for allowing me to stay last night. I am glad that you are well. I will check on you later in the day. You heard me right. I LOVE YOU. John'


	2. Chapter 2 After the Basement

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 2 After The Basement**

In a matter of a week I go from a relationship with RJ Gannon to having sex with John McBain in a client's girlfriend's basement. What is wrong with me? I don't just sleep with someone like that but I do have to admit that it was amazing and embarrassing. Embarrassing because the client's girlfriend found us asleep and naked in her basement, although a blanket covered us. To top it all off RJ suspected something was happening between John and me and confronted me at the diner and accused me of having an affair with John. Technically it wasn't an affair it was only one night but oh what a night. Found out that RJ was following me and so I ended our relationship. He was none too happy about that.

John and I continue to see each other off and on, more off than on, but only in his room and only for sex. What is the term for that, oh yeah booty call? My how the mighty have fallen. Do I no longer have any scruples or morals? Well we are two consenting adults so I guess it is permitted but my mother would not be happy about it. Weeks roll by and we see each other around town and on occasion end up in his bed. I guess this is what we do to release our tension. We both have stressful jobs and when we are together nothing else matters.

Two months after the basement encounter I'm at home in my apartment when I start to have strong back and abdominal pains. I call my doctor and fortunately she has an opening. Making it to her office within thirty minutes the pain increases. Sitting in the exam room waiting for the doctor I feel moisture between my legs and it rolls down my legs. Just as I look down the doctor enters the room. She sees me looking down and notices the blood rolling down my legs and dripping on the floor.

" _Ms. Williamson are you on your period and don't have a sanitary napkin?"_

" _No, doctor my period is not due for two weeks. I just started bleeding while sitting here. I am so sorry to make such a mess."_

" _Don't worry about that just go in the bathroom and clean up and I will have my attendant to clean up in here and then we will examine you and find our what's wrong. You did leave a urine specimen when you came in didn't you?"_

" _Yes I did Dr. Steiner. I'm glad that I was able to do that before the bleeding started. Let me clean up and thanks for the sanitary napkin and the disposable panties."_

It takes several minutes for me to clean up the blood, wash up and put on the sanitary napkin and disposable panties. I return to the exam room, which is now thoroughly cleaned, and sit on the exam table. Dr. Steiner has me to remove everything below my waist and to put my legs in the stirrups.

" _What caused the bleeding Dr. Steiner and the back and abdomen pains? Did my period come early?"_

" _Evangeline I'm sorry to tell you this but you had a miscarriage. Since you said that your period was due in two weeks I take it_ _that you did not know that you were pregnant."_

" _No, I did not. Can you tell how far along I was?"_

" _Perhaps 7 or 8 weeks. Have you had periods in that time period?"_

" _I have been so busy lately I really can't tell you but I'm sure that I probably had them in the last two months. Two months that would mean…"_

" _That would mean what Ms. Williamson? You do take preventative measures don't you?"_

" _Yes Doctor I do but evidently either it didn't work or I forgot to use it. So how do you know that I had a miscarriage?"_

" _When we cleaned up the blood that you discharged we found the remnants of the fetus and plus we tested your urine and you were pregnant."_

" _I can't believe this. I was pregnant but now I'm not. Did I do something wrong to cause this miscarriage?"_

" _Ms. Williamson, don't think of it like that. It evidently was not a viable pregnancy and the body released it. I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing to prevent you from getting pregnant later. Do you have any other questions?"_

" _Doctor I don't know what questions to ask. This has never happened to me before and I am not one to be careless with birth control. I take that matter very seriously."_

" _No birth control is 100% effective Ms. Williamson as you know. Perhaps something interfered with the effective of your pill. Take a look at this list of things that may counteract your birth control pill. Have you used any of these items?"_

" _No Dr. Steiner I have not used any of these items or ingested any of these foods."_

" _That's good to know so we can eliminate those as the cause. Perhaps with your busy schedule you forgot to take your pill or you did not double up and have your partner use a condom."_

" _I doubt that I would forget but it is possible. Either way I was pregnant but now I am not. I must double my efforts to make certain that this does not happen again until I am ready to have a baby. But I am all right though?"_

" _Yes you are Ms. Williamson. You should not experience any ill effects from this. If that is all you may get dressed. Call me if you think of any questions that we did not answer here today."_

" _Thank you Dr. Steiner for seeing me on such short notice. This has been quite an experience and one I do not wish to repeat. Good bye."_

" _Good bye Ms. Williamson. The aide will show the way out."_

Totally bewildered I make my way to my car and back to my apartment. As soon as I make it home I rush to the bathroom to take a shower. All I can think about during the shower is that I was pregnant and now I am not. But whose baby was it? Was it RJ's or John's baby? RJ and I were together 2 ½ months ago and John and I had our first encounter 2 months ago. This is a messy situation. I won't tell either of them. It will only complicate things and any way I no longer have the baby. A baby. I was going to have a baby. I finish the shower, dress and just lie in bed trying to gather my thoughts. A fine mess I made of things. I have no idea how I forgot to take my pill the day that John and I had sex. I do know that John did not use a condom. That was probably when I got pregnant. Well I am not in a committed relationship with anyone, especially John, so having a baby would really have complicated things to no end. That's not to say that I am glad that the baby is gone it makes me a bit sad that I lost him/her but how do you mourn something you didn't know that you had? Well this is a wake up call for me not to sleep around and definitely to take my pill every day. I will not go through this again.


	3. Chapter 3 Reaching My Limit

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 3 Reaching My Limit**

After another argument about John forever rushing off to rescue Natalie I decide to take a break from this back and forth that's going on between us. I don't return his calls and I avoid him at the police station, the courthouse and at my apartment. My only safe place these days is my office because I left strict instructions not to allow him entry unless he has a search warrant.

To avoid encountering him at my apartment I work late into the night and sneak in through a side entrance just in case he's staking out the front of my apartment building. Besides getting a lot of work done it also gives me a breather from the bickering that we've been doing lately. He doesn't see that Natalie's insinuating herself in to our relationship for her own gain and not because she really needs any help. She has family that she can use to help her out of any jam she finds for herself but no she calls John all of the time and he rushes off like it's the most important thing in the world and I am tired of it.

Relaxing on the couch in my office I turn on some music and read the brief on my next case. I take notes on some key points and jot down reminders of questions that I need to ask my client. It's late and the security guard knocks on my door to check on me. I thank him for his diligence and he continues on his rounds. Finishing up my review of the client's file I clean up my office and prepare to leave. Gathering my briefcase and purse I see a shadow pass my door. Knowing that I'm the only one on this floor at this time of night and that the security guard has already made his rounds on my floor I hide behind my door just as the shadow stops at my door and I notice the door knob turning. I quietly drop my briefcase to the floor and hold the handle of my purse preparing to swing it at the intruder. Just as the body makes it way pass my door and into my line of sight I swing my purse with all the strength that I can muster and hit the person in the face. They fall back and I use that time to pick up my briefcase and clutch my purse to me and run out of the office. The elevator is not there so I take the stairs and see the security guard in the stairwell. I rush to him and tell him about what happened in my office. He told me to go to the lobby or better yet to get to my car and leave, which I do.

I make it home in a nervous fit, hurry inside my apartment, lock the door, set the alarm and go to my room to shower. Maybe the heat of the water will calm me down. It does and I dress for bed and give no more thought to this harrowing experience. The security guard left a message on my office phone that he did not find anyone in my office or on my floor but he will check the security cameras to identify the intruder. He did say that he contacted the police to have it on record that someone accosted me.

The next day I arrive at my office and find my office looking the same with no evidence that anyone had been there or that the event of last night ever happened. Placing my briefcase and purse on my desk I remove the files that I need for the day and settle down to work. Looking up towards my door I notice something shiny on the floor near the wall. I walk over to pick it up and recognize it as a tiepin that I gave to John as a gift some time ago. It wasn't his birthday or anything it was just to say I value you. I don't remember seeing this yesterday so how and when did it get here? John hasn't been in my office in weeks and for that I am glad because I have **reached my limit** on his back and forth between Natalie and me. It's not like I'm asking him to make a choice because he says that he wants to be with me but he confuses the issue by always running to her rescue. He doesn't understand that she can view that as his wanting a relationship with her instead of just him trying to help a friend.

After last night's excitement I decide to leave the office at the same time that everyone else does and I make it home safely and breathe a sigh of relief. Just as I finish my shower, dress and sit down for dinner someone knocks at my door. I ask who it is and hear John respond. What is he doing here? I don't want to see him but being the nice person that I am I open the door to him and …

" _What happened to you John? How did you get that bruise on your cheek? Looks like someone punched you although I do understand the urge to do that to you most times."_

" _May I come in Evangeline?"_

" _Sure John come in and have a seat. I'm just having dinner would you like some?"_

" _No not really I find it a bit hard to chew but thanks for the offer."_

" _Oh well sit while I finish. You can talk can't you or do you want to wait until I finish eating?"_

" _I'll wait."_

" _Suit yourself."_

Just to be difficult I take my own sweet time to finish my dinner drawing it out for as long as I can. Finally I finish and clear the table and then join John on the sofa.

" _So what do you want to talk about John?"_

" _Evangeline did you know it was me at your office last night and you hit me for some reason?"_

" _No I did not know it was you John and why would I purposefully hit you?"_

" _Well you have been avoiding me and I just thought that when you saw me last night you were taking out your frustrations on me."_

" _And just why would I be frustrated with you John. What have you done that would frustrate me?"_

" _I've been spending a lot of time rescuing Natalie and although I didn't see it at the beginning I now see how someone might construe that as I want Natalie instead of you. Is that why you hit me?"_

" _John listen to me and listen to me carefully because I will not repeat this:_

 _I did not know it was you last night._

 _I swung out in defense of my person._

 _Yes your rushing to Natalie at every turn can be construed as you wanting her_

 _If you want her just tell me so and we will part ways. I don't want to stay with a man who doesn't' want me._

 _If you do knowingly cheat on me a purse in the face is not all you will get._

 _That is not a threat it is a guarantee._

 _Do you understand me now?"_

" _Yes I do and for the record I am not cheating on you and I don't want anyone else. When you hit me in the face last night I thought that you knew it was I and was letting me know that you were displeased with me. I left as soon as I regained my balance and looked for you but you had left. I decided to wait until today to give you a chance to cool down and for the swelling to go down on my face. Imagine the teasing that I got at the office today. The staff thought that you got fed up with me and gave me one to the jaw so I'm not the only one who thought that you did it on purpose. So yes I see that I have given mixed messages and I want to remedy that. I feel responsible for Natalie because I caused her husband's death but I have to allow her to take care of herself. If I always rush to her rescue she will never learn to depend on herself. Now as for you I don't need to run to your rescue, even though I would, you can take care of yourself as evidenced by last night's episode. I want to remain on your good side not your bad side."_

" _That's good to know John but you are not getting off that easily for continuously rushing off to Natalie and leaving me alone. It will take time for me to reset my equilibrium and until that time I don't want to see or talk to you. I let you in tonight just as a courtesy but you have to go now. It may seem harsh to you but you have to realize that you can't string me along or bounce me here and there at your pleasure. I heard everything that you said but your words and actions don't always match John and until I see that they do we need to take a breather. When I see you_ _ **NOT**_ _rushing to Natalie every time she calls or comes to you then maybe we can resume our relationship but until then we can't. Now if you will leave I need my rest because I have a busy court schedule this week and last night's drama took a lot out of me. Good night John."_

" _I will leave now Evangeline but we are not over. I don't want us to be over. I will show you that you are my priority and until you are convinced I will abide by your wishes but I will not give up on us. We are worth fighting for as I told you early on in our relationship and you're probably thinking to yourself that you're not the one who gave up but I did. Well I will convince you that I still believe that we are worth it, that you are worth it to me. Good night Evangeline."_

John leaves and I return to the sofa and read over my case files in preparation for court this week. Only time will tell if he actually changes his ways but I will not wait around for it. I have **reached my limit** and only a monumental seismic change of John's behavior will cause me to reconsider.


	4. Chapter 4 Stroll on the Boardwalk

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 4 Stroll on the Boardwalk**

All of these years living in Atlantic City, marrying, raising my sons, suffering the loss of my dear husband and still I remain. Working in the lounges of the various hotels keeps me employed and the pay is good. Many have told me what a nice voice I have and it has paid the bills but I am still alone. Losing Thomas so many years ago and I still yearn for him. My songs are of the ache of that pain of his loss but also his love. That remains enough for me and perhaps for the rest of my life because at my age not too many men show much interest and I certainly don't invite any interest. Unfortunately my choice of staying alone has negatively impacted my sons.

Michael seems to have managed much better than his older brother though and perhaps that is because he was so much younger when his father died and the weight of carrying on the family did not fall as heavily on him as it did his brother John. Michael has found love with Marcie and they are making their marriage work. The trouble with the Manning child almost destroyed them but they made their way through that but with scars that are still healing.

John has not faired as well:

Losing his fiancée to a serial killer left him lost for a long time.

Causing the 'death' of Christian Vega and then taking up with Natalie Vega didn't help him either.

Next he fell into a relationship with Evangeline Williamson but could not commit to her and she left him.

Later it was determined that Natalie was not exactly a widow because Christian was very much alive but John concealed that knowledge from everyone. He took up again with Natalie but that did not last. From one woman to another and he is still lost.

He impregnated Marty Saybrooke but she lost the child.

He married Blair Cramer to help her keep her children from Todd Manning.

Later he stood at the altar to marry Natalie but found out that the child that she told him was his was not his but that of Natalie's sister's fiancée. Only later to find out that the child is really John's.

He and Natalie have been on and off again for years. They have never married.

My poor boy is lost but how can I blame him. I am still stuck in neutral myself. I am his mother, Eve McBain. But instead of repeating my mistakes he should learn from them just like his brother Michael has done. Michael has found love and a life with Marcie. If Natalie is not the one for John then he needs to move on with his life. He's not getting any younger. He does take care of his son Liam though and I am glad of that because we McBains take care of our own.

On one of my few off days here I am walking the boardwalk, something that I have not done in years. People are stopping at the stalls and others are just looking out at the ocean. I'm sitting on a bench just people watching and sitting in the sun breathing in the ocean air. Many families pass by and I smile as the children point out things to their parents or grandparents. I brought a book with me this time just in case I get bored with people watching and I turn to grab my book but drop it and then a little brown hand picks up my book and hands it to me.

" _Hello you dropped this."_

" _Thank you for picking it up for me."_

I turn to face the little boy who is standing there with the book in his hand and a young lady standing next to him smiling and I gasp. The young lady thinking that I am in distress rushes to me,

" _Are you all right ma'am, I can call for help?"_

" _No I am fine thank you. Is this your son?"_

" _Yes this is my son Patrick, he is three years old."_

" _Patrick thank you very much for picking up my book for me. You are such a handsome little boy. You remind me of my son when he was your age."_

" _Thank you."_ Patrick responded. His mother always told him to say thank you when someone compliments you. He looks up at his mother and she knows that he's ready to resume their walk.

" _Good bye ma'am and enjoy the rest of your day. We really need to leave now."_ Patrick's mother takes his hand and they walk off away from the boardwalk.

I look after them until they disappear from my view. I can't believe what just happened. That little boy looks exactly like John did when he was that age. Oh no I didn't get the young lady's name! Oh well it is just a coincidence but it really shocked me. Well let me finish my book and enjoy my off day.

The young boy and his mother make it back to their car and the mother secures Patrick in his car seat. She is a bit shaken by what just happened on the boardwalk. She recognized Eve McBain from the time that she came to town for John's 'funeral' when everyone thought that John had died. How could Mrs. McBain say that Patrick looks like John when I don't even know who Patrick's father is other than a number on the sperm donor card? The donor agency assured me that the identity of the donor is kept in strict confidence and their security is top notch.

Several years have passed since I recovered from my coma but no one in Llanview was notified of my recovery and I insisted on that. When the doctors turned off the machines and my sister and Christian left my room and only my mother remained, I started to breathe on my own. My uncle Clay walked in at that exact moment. My mother couldn't believe that I had not died and the doctors had to sedate her. I asked uncle Clay what had happened and he told me everything about the gassing and the advanced directive. I told him that I had not left any advanced directive to terminate life support. He told me that circumstances of my mother finding the directive and I informed him that Eli was not a friend but an enemy. Uncle Clay immediately phoned his friend with the FBI and they put me in witness protection. While my mother was sedated and in another room the FBI moved me to a secure facility. The FBI convinced my mother to maintain the story of my death for my protection. I stayed hidden away until Eli was apprehended, tried and convicted of attempted murder. The OPP were already dissolved so no threats remained against me and so I returned to Maryland with my mother and carried on with my life.

A year later I decided to have a child, even though I was not involved with anyone or married. I made the selection of the sperm donor agency and found a doctor to handle the artificial insemination. It worked on the first try and I had a healthy baby boy who I named Patrick. Of course I think that Patrick looks like me in some ways but for one thing, he has blue eyes.

Now Patrick is three years old and the kindest, sweetest little boy you can ever meet. With this encounter today it now has me thinking that this is just a coincidence. The only criteria that I gave for the sperm donation was an employed, college educated male, at least 6 ft tall with black hair. Perhaps there is some way I can get more specific information on the donor. No! No! I won't do that. The donors want anonymity and I will not pry. I have what I wanted and I will enjoy that, my baby boy.

What Patrick's mother didn't realize was that during the encounter on the boardwalk she dropped the napkins that she and Patrick used while eating their hot dogs. Eve McBain noticed the napkins and put them in a plastic bag that she had in her satchel. She wasn't a policeman's wife all of those years for nothing and she didn't believe in coincidences. She still kept in contact with some of the other officers who worked with her late husband so many years ago. Some of their children are now on the force. When she finishes her time on the boardwalk Eve returns home and makes a few phone calls and get arranges to have the napkins checked for DNA. Of course she has plenty samples of items to test for John's DNA but she needs to know. She too recognized Evangeline Williamson from John's 'funeral. She sang _Danny Boy_ so beautifully. The officer stopped by Eve's house that night and gathered the samples. He said that he should have the results in a few days. Eve will not way anything to John until she knows for sure. She didn't think that John knew that Evangeline was still alive. The last time that she spoke with John about Evangeline was years ago when he received news of her death. He sounded very sad during that conversation and she could tell that he had some residual feelings for her. Probably regret more than anything. Such a young life cut so short by such violence.

While waiting for the test results Eve busied herself at work. She was so glad for the work and for the distraction. She doesn't know what she will do if the results return that John is the father of that adorable little boy but how can that be? Evangeline supposedly died over four years ago so how can John have fathered her child? They have not been together for almost nine years. This is too bizarre. Eve will just have to wait for the test results.

Exactly a week after giving the samples to the police officer, Eve receives the results. It is a 99.9% chance that John is the father of that child. Eve has to sit down because she fears that she will faint. How can that be, they have not been together? She needs to talk with John. She doesn't know where Evangeline now lives so she can't talk with her but John should know that he has a child living and breathing and he knows nothing about him.

" _John, how are you son? I want to talk with you for a moment."_

" _Sure Mom, what's up? Are you all right you sound kind of strange?"_

" _Yes I probably do sound strange and that is because I just came across something that has shaken me up a bit and I was wondering if you have the time to come for a visit, just for the weekend."_

" _I don't know Mom, I am really busy with work, can this wait for some other time?"_

" _No John it can't, I really need to see you."_

" _Are you sure that you are all right Mom, do I need to call Michael"_

" _I am not sick John and no you don't need to call your brother. What time can I expect you on Friday?"_

" _Okay Mom I will drive over right after work, or better yet I will take off Friday and drive over Thursday night and we will have all day Friday before you have to go into work. How does that sound?"_

" _That sounds fine son. I will see you Thursday night. You still have your keys so let yourself in because I have a set that night but I should make it home by 11:00 p.m."_

" _All right I will see you on Thursday Mom, good bye."_

Well that is settled and I will see John on Thursday. Should I tell him right away or wait until Friday morning after a good sleep. He will probably want to know what this is all about as soon as he gets here. Well let me put all of the samples and paperwork in a safe place so that I can show him everything at once. I have no idea how he will react.

In Washington, DC, Evangeline Williamson, has now reconsidered her decision not to pursue the matter of the identity of the sperm donor. She contacts the sperm bank and obtains the information needed to pursue the identity of the donor. After the necessary tests were done on Patrick, Evangeline and the sperm donor it was concluded that one John McBain is the father of Patrick Williamson. It seems that years ago John had donated sperm in the event that if something happened to him in the line of work, his then fiancée Caitlin could still have his child. Evangeline was flabbergasted. Out of all the sperm donors in that sperm bank she would get the sperm of the one man she had left behind in her life and memory, John McBain. She could not believe it. Before now she had no desire to even know who the father of her child is but that encounter with Eve McBain on that boardwalk in Atlantic City changed things for her forever. What does she do now? She makes one phone call and arrange a meeting.

" _Uncle Clay I don't know what to do about this. John McBain is Patrick's father. Let me tell you how I found out."_

And so she told him everything about the encounter on the boardwalk and then her curiosity as to whether it was just a coincidence that Patrick has blue eyes and that Patrick looks like John. Her Uncle Clay listens and then says,

" _Do you want John to know about Patrick Evangeline and in his knowing do you want him to be a part of Patrick's life and in turn a part of your life? You do know that he has a child with Natalie Buchanan?"_

" _No Uncle Clay I didn't know that. I don't keep up with what happens in Llanview. I have too much going on in my life and Llanview is my past. As to whether I want John to know Patrick I really can't answer that now. I was all prepared to raise Patrick by myself. What if someone else was the father would you ask me the same questions?"_

" _I don't know if I would or not Evangeline but someone else is not the father of Patrick, John McBain is so what do you want to do?"_

" _I don't know you tell me what should I do."_

" _No I won't do that because it is not my choice to make. At least give the man a chance to know that he has another child. If I were in his shoes I would want to know. He probably forgot about his sperm donation and didn't expect anything to come of it after his fiancée died. At the time of his donation his heart was in the right place. He's not married even though I'm sure he's had every chance to marry the Buchanan girl so something is not right there. So what do you decide?"_

" _After careful consideration it is only fair to inform him of Patrick's existence. Now you know that Mom will not agree with this decision but it really doesn't matter about whether she does or not, it is the right thing to do."_

" _I agree with you Evangeline so how do you want to handle this? One suggestion that I will make is that you meet with him at a neutral place and plus he doesn't know that you are alive. He will get a call from a ghost. I tell you what I will call him and set up the meeting for you two. He will get a double dose, one that you are alive and two that you have his child. Poor man, I may need to have paramedics on standby to resuscitate him."_

" _You are too funny Uncle Clay but thanks for the offer. I will wait to hear from you about the meeting place and time. Do you have any idea when and where?"_

" _Yes I do, Atlantic City, this weekend."_

" _Oh one other thing Uncle Clay, Mrs. McBain may have recognized me when I saw her on the boardwalk so she may have already informed John about my being alive."_

" _Don't worry about that I will contact her and make some arrangement that will be mutually accommodating."_

" _You are the best Uncle Clay."_

Evangeline returns to her office and Uncle Clay makes phone calls. He speaks with Eve McBain and explains everything and she tells him that John is due in town on Thursday evening. Uncle Clay says that he will have Evangeline and Patrick in Atlantic City on Friday morning and they will all meet at a discreet location. Eve agrees to wait until the meeting with Evangeline to reveal everything at the same time.

Friday morning in a private room in the best hotel on the Boardwalk a breakfast buffet awaits the five adults and one child. Lisa Williamson insists on attending this meeting and will take Patrick out after the introductions so that the remaining adults can talk. She doesn't want her grandson around when the yelling starts.

" _Mom why are we here I thought that you had something to tell me? Why do we need to come to a fancy hotel for you to tell what you have to say? What is wrong? Are you terminally ill or something?"_

" _No John, just sit down and I will tell you everything."_

" _Mom I don't want to sit down just tell me."_

The door behind them opens and in walks Clay Williamson. To say the least John is surprised to see him and didn't know that his mother knew Mr. Williamson.

" _Hello Mr. Williamson, what are you doing here? I didn't know that you knew my mother."_

" _John I just recently met your mother. I won't beat around the bush but will come straight out and tell you why you are here. Sit down and I will tell you everything."_

" _Okay I'm sitting what is this about, won't somebody tell me?"_

" _John two weeks ago I was sitting on the boardwalk on my day off, relaxing and reading a book. Well anyway I started to read a book but dropped it and a little boy picked it up for me."_

" _That was nice Mom but what does that have to do with why I am here."_

" _John just listen and don't interrupt ok. It is easier if I say it all at once."_

" _All right Mom I am listening."_

" _The little boy handed the book to me and I looked at him and found myself looking into the past. He looked just like you did when you were that age. He had the prettiest bluest eyes and black hair but his hair is curly. Anyway I thanked him for getting my book and then I saw his mother. I recognized her right away but didn't tell her that. I was still too astonished about the little boy."_

" _Is that it? You saw a little boy who reminded you of me when I was a little boy and he had blue eyes so what is so strange about that? I am sure there are little blue-eyed boys who remind you of me. You said that you recognized the mother. Was it anyone I know? Just so you know I have not dropped any babies around in the last few years, so the kid is not mine."_

" _That's where you are wrong John. Just listen and let me finish."_

" _Mom I have not fathered any children other than Liam with Natalie."_

" _John did you donate to a sperm bank when you were with Caitlin?"_ this time Clay Williamson asks the question.

John looks at Mr. Williamson shocked that he would know that about him. No one other than Caitlin knew about that.

" _How do you know that Mr. Williamson? Are you saying that someone used my donated sperm and had a child? Who is it? Where are they? Do you know them? Mom you said that you recognized the mother, was it someone from the old neighborhood? Can I meet the child?"_

" _John, yes someone had a child and the child and the mother are here for you to meet. That is why your mother called you. Your mother had tests done to prove that you are the father and the mother of the child contacted the donor agency and learned the identity of the donor, you."_

" _So where are they I want to meet them?"_

" _There is one more thing that you need to know John. The mother is someone that you know too but have not seen in years. Well the best way to do this is to first let you meet the mother and then the child. We don't want to scare him so let the mother come in first and you can talk with her and then we will bring in the child."_

" _Fine bring her in but I have no idea who she is."_

Clay goes to the door and opens it and in walks,

" _Evangeline, how can this be? You died, they told me that you died."_

Tears fill John's eyes and he can't believe what he is seeing. Evangeline Williamson is standing here in the same room with him. She approaches him and he grabs her and holds her tight.

" _It's really you, you're really here. How did this happen, why didn't anyone tell me that you are alive?"_

" _Why would anyone tell you John? We were nothing to each other. You had moved on with your life and I was just a memory to everyone in Llanview. It was better this way. So they've told you why we are here. Imagine my surprise when I find out that the anonymous sperm donor for my beautiful baby is one John McBain."_

" _Are you disappointed?"_

" _Don't get negative John. No I am not disappointed, just surprised that of all the sperms in the sperm bank I would get the sperm of my ex-boyfriend. But I would not trade Patrick for anything. He is such a sweet boy. Now before my mother brings him in we need to discuss a few things. Your mother and Uncle Clay set up this meeting and I appreciate all of their help but you and I as the parents of this little boy have to make some decisions._

 _I am open to you having access to Patrick. We can arrange times that he can spend with you, like holidays, part of the summer and such but only after he gets to know you._

 _How does he get to know you when we live in different cities, well there is Skype so you need to get a personal computer and put Skype on it so Patrick can call you when he wants to._

 _I know that you have a child with Natalie but I don't want Natalie anywhere near my child. When you have Patrick for a visit I have no problem with him meeting your other son but Natalie is not to be present. If need be I will have a restraining order in place to make certain that she is nowhere near my child._

 _Patrick will spend time with Eve when her schedule will allow and she too will have Skype so that she and Patrick can remain in touch._

 _I will not visit Llanview. There is nothing for me there only painful memories. You will have to come to DC to pick up Patrick for visits with you or I can meet you at Eve's in Atlantic City for you to pick him up there but I want as little shuffling of our little boy as possible. He is not a ping-pong ball. I just want him to spend time with his parents._

 _I will maintain primary custody of Patrick and his main residence will continue to be with me in DC._

 _Anything else that arises we can discuss and come to a mutually agreed upon conclusion."_

" _Well it seems that you have thought this all through but do forgive me for some hesitation since this is all new to me. I agree with everything that you said, don't get me wrong, because I want what is best for our child. You know him better that I do and I look forward to getting to know him. May I see him now?"_

Clay Williamson goes to the door and motions and in walks Lisa Williamson with a little boy holding her hand and John stands there stupefied. Except for the tanned skin there before him stands a miniature John McBain. John has seen many pictures of himself as a little boy and as he looks at Patrick and it is as if he is looking at one of those pictures. Patrick releases his grandmother's hand and rushes to his mother. Evangeline picks him up and hugs him. He cuddles his head on her neck and look around at the strangers in the room. Now they all sit down around the table and Evangeline suggests that they eat so as to calm Patrick. His favorite breakfast foods are on the buffet so Evangeline rises to make his plate but he won't let her put him down. John asks her what he likes to eat and he goes and prepares the plate for his son. John can't believe that this is happening. He prepares the plate and returns to the table with it and by that time Patrick is sitting in his own chair. John places the plate before Patrick and hears Patrick say 'thank you'. John's heart melts when he hears his son's voice. Patrick eats his food and you can tell that he is relaxed because he starts to talk to this grandmother who's sitting next to him. Soon everyone has his or her food and eats. Patrick now starts to talk more,

" _Mommy who are these people? That's the lady that dropped her book when we went to the water."_

" _That is right Patrick. Her name is Mrs. McBain and this is her son John McBain?"_

" _Hello."_ Patrick says to Eve and John.

" _Are we going back to the water mommy, is that why she is here?"_

" _No we are not going to the water today baby. They are here because I want you to meet them. Mrs. McBain is your grandmother. She is your father's mother."_

" _But I don't have a father mommy."_

" _Yes you do baby. Remember that I told you that your father was far away and could not be with us. Well this is his mother and she wants to get to know you. I just found out a short time ago that Mrs. McBain is your grandmother."_

 _But isn't granny still my grandmother?"_ Patrick says pointing at Lisa Williamson.

" _Yes granny is still your grandmother but now you have two grandmothers. Granny is my mother and Mrs. McBain is your father's mother."_

" _So where is my father mommy. Can't his mommy tell us where he is?"_

" _Yes she can tell us baby. Your father is right here. This is your father and his name is John McBain."_

" _But mommy why is his name not the same as my name? My name is Patrick Williamson, why isn't his name John Williamson?"_ At that all of the adults look at each other and no one has an answer for that question but Evangeline wants to answer all of her son's questions.

" _Patrick remember when I told you that your daddy was far away and couldn't be with us so I gave you the same last name as my last name so that you know that you belong to me."_

" _I like that mommy. I do belong to you. So will you change my name now that daddy is here?"_ Evangeline looked a little taken aback at that but inside John was yelling 'yes' at the top of his lungs.

" _For now I think that it is best that we keep your name as it is so no one is confused okay."_

" _Okay mommy. What do I call my new grandma? Granny what should I call my new grandma?"_

" _What do you want to call her Patrick?"_ Lisa asked but looking at Eve as if to say 'I'm sorry I don't know that to say'.

" _Can I call her Nana? You will stay Granny and she will be Nana."_

" _That sounds like a good idea. What do you think Mrs. McBain?"_ Lisa asks Eve who by now is smiling and happy that her grandson has acknowledged her.

" _That sounds like an excellent idea. I would love for you to call me Nana Patrick."_

" _Okay Nana."_ Patrick says smiling at his Nana for the first time.

Through this entire conversation between Patrick, Lisa and Eve, John stares at Evangeline. He still can't believe that she is alive and to top that they have a child together. Evangeline looks over and catches him staring and lifts her brow as if to ask what is wrong. John quickly shifts his eyes elsewhere because he does not want to talk about what is happening inside of him with all of these people present.

Uncle Clay sees this exchange between John and Evangeline and know that they need some alone time to talk this new arrangement through just the two of them. He reserved rooms for everyone, even John and Eve. Uncle Clay knows that both John and Evangeline need to talk. Clay suggests that Lisa and Eve take Patrick to the indoor play area in the hotel and gave them the keys to their rooms in case they want to go there later. He also gives John the key to his room that is right next to Evangeline's room. If no one else sees it Clay sees that there is some unfinished business between John and Evangeline. But before anyone can leave Patrick asks one more question,

" _Mommy what do I call him?"_ he asks pointing at John.

" _He is your father Patrick so you can call him daddy."_ John turns and looks at her surprised that she so readily said that.

" _Daddy I have to go to potty."_ John looks at everyone and turns a bright shade of red but quickly regains his senses and rises from his chair and approaches his son.

 _Okay Patrick let's go, daddy will take you to the potty."_

And so he does and the ice is broken and no one is the worst for wear. With John and Patrick out of the room the remaining adults breathe a sigh of relief.

" _That went much better than I thought and boy am I glad. I thought that John would go ballistic but he didn't and I thought that Patrick would be very confused and clingy but he wasn't. You have raised him well Evangeline."_

" _Thank you Mom but I have had a lot of help from you and Uncle Clay. Mrs. McBain are you all right?"_

" _Evangeline I am more than all right. Thank you so much for my grandson. When I saw him for the first time I saw what a sweet little boy he is. I look forward to spending time with him and to that end you are invited to come to my home anytime that you are available so that I can spend time with both you and Patrick. You are part of the family now."_

" _Thank you Mrs. McBain. Mom and Uncle Clay are you two all right about how things turned out."_

" _Yes I am Evangeline. This was the right thing to do. I'm just relieved that your uncle is here to help you through this. Thanks Clay."_

" _Just looking after my niece. She did the right thing and she will continue to do the right thing. Now I have a suggestion. When John and Patrick return, Lisa and Eve you two take Patrick as I suggested earlier and give Evangeline and John time to talk together just the two of them. You might want to take that conversation to a more private area Evangeline so you use either your room or John's room. I only reserved this room for the formal introductions so now that those are done we need to vacate this room."_

" _Are you trying to set me up Uncle Clay?"_

" _Not at all and nothing will happen between the two of you. You're still tentative around each other anyone can see that. Just talk it out, don't leave anything unsaid."_

" _We won't Uncle Clay and thanks for everything."_

John and Patrick return holding hands. Everyone looks at them approach and smile. Lisa and Eve take Patrick to the play area and John and Evangeline head to John's room. Clay goes to the casino for a while.

 **A/N: That's the end or maybe not. So what do they decide to do? You vote with your review. 1) They co-parent long distance; 2) John moves to the DC area and they co-parent; 3) they reconcile and John moves to the DC area; or 4) none of the above.**


	5. Chapter 5 A Face in the Crowd

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 5 A Face in the Crowd**

One would think that with all the turmoil caused by their own mother that the brothers Manning would get along better than they do. When the real Todd Manning returned to town and the imposter was identified as the twin brother, Victor Lord, everyone was shocked. Even more surprising to everyone was to learn that their 'dear' mother Irene Manning orchestrated the entire ruse. What kind of sick person does something like that to their own children? No wonder these men are the way that they are, it must be in the genes and I don't mean Levis.

Look at them arguing now. I guess they are both here covering the Governors' conference at the convention center in Harrisburg. That's not the only meeting taking place at the convention center this week. Antonio and I are attending the law enforcement officer seminar as ordered by Commissioner Buchanan. And I do say 'ordered' because otherwise I would not be found dead at a 'seminar'. But I might as well make good use of the time. We are on a break from our meeting so I decided to sit in the hall and people watch.

You can tell a lot about people by just watching them. Now the Manning/Lord duo don't like each other very much you can tell that by the fact that they are arguing and two by their body language, it exudes, 'get away from me, I don't want to hear a thing that you have to say'. Victor Lord thought that he was Todd Manning while the real Todd Manning was being held prisoner. Todd has now reunited with his wife and children and Victor is now an outsider in the midst. Victor did have a son while in the guise of Todd, but that was not his choice. That is a totally other story that I won't tell right now. Victor also has since found out that he has a daughter with his former attorney, Tea Delgado. They're trying to make a go of it as a family but the verdict is still out on that.

Speaking of finding out about fathering a child, I too have a child who I didn't know was mine for quite some time. The woman that I was going to marry told me on our wedding day that the child was not mine but was fathered by her sister's boyfriend. Then later blood tests prove that the child is mine. Talk about a merry-go-round that was really one, but, thankfully I am off that ride for good. Natalie and I are not together anymore but we both take care of our son Liam. What is the saying, 'if it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all'.

Don't get me started on thinking about all of my lost chances for better things. One time years ago I had the good fortune to meet someone who really challenged me, who made me think about things and feel things that I never thought that I would think and feel again. She loved me and I squandered that love. I didn't think that I could love again but I knew that if I ever did it would be with her but I blew that golden opportunity. I can't blame Natalie for my stupidity. Yes Natalie threw herself at me with her low cut blouses and tight pants and skirts and hey I am a man and I am not blind. But she also manufactured times for us to be together like the time when her mother locked us in the evidence room. That night Evangeline was waiting for me to have dinner with her and her former professor. So many times Natalie insinuated herself in my relationship with Evangeline but I can't fault Natalie because I let it happen. At the time I wasn't in love with Natalie but I was falling in love with Evangeline. Well no use crying over spilt milk that is all in the past now and we can't change what happened. But I do remember the good times with Evangeline and I know that it was my fault that we didn't make it.

Well break time is almost over. I give one more glance over to the Manning/Lord duo and find that Manning has left but Victor Lord is still there looking at his watch. Guess it's time for his session to start again too. I rise from the bench where I am sitting and then I see that Victor was waiting for someone and they have arrived. Out of all of the people in the world to show up here, at this place, at this time, Evangeline Williamson.

I had heard from Layla that Evangeline had recovered from her coma but that she also would not return to Llanview. After that no one said much to me about her. I guess that they figured I didn't want to know since I had not seen or spoken with her even before the attack by the OPP group. She lingered in the coma for three years but recovered with all of her mental faculties intact. It took rehabilitation therapy to get her body back in shape but looking at her now she looks as beautiful as ever. It doesn't surprise me that Victor Lord kept in touch with her. When he was Todd Manning he and Evangeline were very good friends and at one time it seemed that their friendship was headed in a more romantic direction and then the OPP attack. Todd kept tabs on her and when she recovered he was there to cheer her on. When he found out that he was not Todd but Victor she was the one person to calm him down from killing his mother. Me, I would have let him do it because she deserved it, but then I would have had to arrest him.

Here she is here now hugging him and smiling at him. To say I am jealous doesn't even skim the surface of what I feel watching their reunion. She touches his cheek and he leans into her hand. I used to do that. Then something happens that takes me totally by surprise. A tall handsome man walks up behind Evangeline and takes her by the waist and kisses her cheek all while holding a little boy in his other arm. She leans into this man and turns around and kisses him. She kisses him on the lips and not a peck of a kiss either. The little boy she takes from the man and kisses him on the cheek. I'm too far away to hear what they are saying but the touches, kisses and caresses say enough for me to know that this is someone in her life now.

" _There you are John I have been looking for you. It's time to go back in now. Oh, I see that you see Evangeline. Have you spoken with her? I saw her earlier and she introduced me to her husband and her son. Her husband is also an attorney and is here visiting family. Evangeline knew that Victor was in town so she came down to see him and to introduce her husband and son. Doesn't she look good? She deserves happiness after all that happened to her. I'm glad that she's doing well. John are you all right?"_

" _I can only say this to you Antonio so don't repeat it. I wish that she was my wife and that the child was my son. She loved me once and I messed up Antonio. I had the best and settled for less and now I have nothing. So no I am not all right but like you I am glad that she has found happiness because she certainly deserves it. Come on let's go back for the afternoon session. Bo will expect us to learn something while we are here."_

" _I'm sorry that I didn't know that you felt this way after all of these years."_

" _I didn't know it myself until I saw her just now. To her I'm probably just_ _ **a face in the crowd**_ _and nothing more. Let's go."_


	6. Chapter 6 Lost and Found Part 1

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 6 Lost and Found**

 **Part 1 Lost**

What kind of friend do you call yourself? With a friend like you who needs enemies. This behavior exactly shows that you never cared for her, hah let alone loved her. Can't fool anyone anymore with the 'she means a lot to me too' or 'we're still close'. No one's foolish enough to believe that nonsense dribbling from your mouth. As soon as she was out of sight you forgot all about her. So what if she could not respond to your conversation, the least you could have done was to converse with her. After all she forgave you for all that you put her through and you didn't have the decency to visit her one time when they moved her to the facility closer to her mom. Well better for her to be rid of your garbage of a friendship. She would have done better to be friends with your doorknob that probably has more life, compassion, and heart than you. Oh but you don't know about feelings anyway so what's the difference between you and the doorknob. Ah but you do know how to hurt other people especially women who have the misfortune to care for you or stupid enough to fall in love with you. At least our girl had the sense to leave when she did. She called you on you s*** and left you with your jaw hanging because you thought that she would stay around and hang onto your every word and give you time to move at your own pace. A snail moves faster than you do. Top it all off she had to suffer at the hands of someone who wanted to get back at you and instead of them hurting you they hurt her to the core. Did it really affect you what they did to her and Natalie because of you? They were after you and they paid for it but what did it cost you. NOTHING. Too bad Natalie didn't have sense enough to leave but well she has her own issues.

Now three years later this lovely lady lies in a coma that the doctors have deemed irreversible, so no chance of recovery. What a waste! She should have left Llanview years ago, poor heart. But she's a tough one and decided that no one would run her from her home. Her parents had dealt with this same racist group when she was a child and she recognized the symbol on something that was left at the crime scene otherwise your bumbling Keystone Cops would never have the slightest clue. Where did you guys learn law enforcement and get your badges, from the insides of a cereal box? Good grief for years you guys have been inept and you the most inept. She subjected herself to hypnosis to help you idiots find Natalie and did she get any accommodations for that? NO! A heartfelt thank you? NO! What she got was walking in on you kissing Natalie when you said that Natalie didn't mean anything to you. LIAR, liar your pants are on fire! Well she's away from Llanview now but not living the good life. She's in a coma and no a coma is not going to sleep for a long time you dope. Why did she waste a year of her life on you when you couldn't spend one hour to visit her in the hospital since she went into the coma. Three years and you could not spare one hour or sixty minutes of your time to go and talk to her even if she can't talk back. Or maybe that's why you don't go because if she could talk back she would probably tell you that you are still pathetic.

After all you did to insert Natalie into your relationship with her, you and Natalie are still not together. Sounds like she was right during the diner conversation, before Todd's verdict came in, that she didn't think that you could love anyone because she saw you and Natalie together arguing. She had you pegged right didn't she?

Her sister Layla now works for the Llanview Police Department and just asked if she can have time off to go visit her sister. That sounds ominous. Does that mean that she's getting better or does that mean that she is getting worse? You don't even ask, you jerk, you just tell Layla that yes she can have the time off. You do ask for the location of the hospital in case you need to contact Layla.

Get a spine dude; grow a pair; what is wrong with you? Oh right, you have childhood trauma issues that you're dealing with blah, blah, blah. Who doesn't' have childhood trauma issues to deal with, you are a grown behind man, grow up and get on with life instead of trying to sit in the dark sucking your thumb like a child. Your mother should have slapped you out of it but I found out that she hasn't recovered from your father dying either so she still walks around in a fog so I guess you come by it honestly one would think that you'd rather not repeat her mistake. Look at your brother Michael he seems to have made a life for himself with Marcie.

Why am I talking to myself like this? Other than the part about Layla asking for time off I have had this conversation with myself numerous times so why now? Duh maybe your mind is trying to tell you that you're running out of time. Out of time for what? Guess genius! Layla comes in asking for time off so something is soon to happen to Evangeline. Do you have some unfinished business to handle with her? You know that you do so like the Nike slogan says, JUST DO IT.

I get up from my desk and go to Bo's office and request emergency time off of a few days. He grants it because I've been working non-stop lately and I call the airlines and get a flight out in an hour. Before leaving, I post a note on my door,

' _ **I'm Lost!**_

 _ **I've Gone To Look For Myself.**_

 _ **If I Should Return Before I Get Back,**_

 _ **Please Ask Me To Wait Here."**_


	7. Chapter 7 Lost and Found Part 2

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 7 Lost and Found**

 **Part 2 Searching**

Arriving at the long term care facility I identify myself as a law enforcement officer following up on this case. They allow me access to her room. Nothing could have prepared me for seeing her again in her current state. She still looks good but she has lost weight, which she could not afford to lose, and the color has left her cheeks. Tubes run everywhere and I hear the swoosh of the machine pumping air into her lungs and the heart monitor beeping a rhythm. Oh my poor sweet Evangeline, why did I delay in coming to see you. You would never have done me like this. I am sorry, I really am. I sit in the chair next to her bed and take her hand. It is still warm. What did you expect idiot, she is not dead. All right just don't talk to me right now let me talk to her. Go for it, you have the floor but make it good and don't waste her time.

" _Evangeline, it's me John. I know that you're surprised that I'm here but I am here. I'm so sorry that this happened to you and I apologize that it took me so long to come and visit. I know you're probably asking yourself why I am here. I'm here because I want to tell you some things._ _ **I'm sure you'll never remember all the things I'll never forget.**_ _First I want to tell you that you are beautiful. After all of these years I have never met any woman more beautiful than you are. I remember the first time that we met in Angel Square Park when you were working for Kevin Buchanan and the time that you represented me when I was charged with the murder. You were a force to be reckoned with and I was intrigued. The time in Mary Barnes' basement is etched in my memory never to be forgotten and our first football game. The many times that we made love, at this point you will tell me that we started out having sex and then you starting making love but I got stuck at having sex but you would be wrong. After my birthday, I started making love to you too because it was at my birthday party that I realized that I was falling in love with you. Oh and you're probably saying, great John a lot of good that does me now, years later. But I did Evangeline and I do. I prefer so much to tell you when you can respond and I don't care if you feel the need to slap me but I will say it anyway._ _ **I LOVE YOU.**_ _Go ahead and tell me that it is too little and too late but it's never too late to tell the truth and that is the truth. I hear you saying, okay John you love me so what am I to do with that in my current position, and that is not to say that I believe you in the least anyway? In answer to your question, what you do to hearing me say that I love you is to wake up and tell me that you love me too. No answer okay well I will continue to carry on both sides of this conversation as if you are conscious even though you are still in a coma, until you get tired of hearing me and tell me to shut up. Of course someone walking in will think that I'm talking to myself but we both know differently don't we Evangeline?: J = John, E = Evangeline_

 _E – I can't talk John so how do I tell you that I love you and I'm not saying that I do just so you know_

 _J – Well give some indication that you are recovering and the doctors and nurses will rush in here and take all of these tubes off of you and then you can breathe on your own and start rehabilitation and in a few months you can leave this place and we can have a life together._

 _E – Are you drunk John? I have been in this coma for three years so I don't think that I will just miraculously wake up._

 _J – Why not? I'm sure it's happened before, anyway it happens in the movies and on soap operas all of the time._

 _E – Ha, ha John but since we are neither in a movie nor soap opera I don't see that happening. So any other suggestions._

 _J – Yes you will wake up now because you believe in miracles. You do think that it is a miracle that I finally came to my senses that I love you and have now professed it to you._

 _E – Sure John you can say it when I'm unconscious but as soon as or if I ever wake up you will deny that you ever said it._

 _J- No I won't but you won't know that until you wake up. Ah, you know you want to do it now just to see if I will deny that I said that I love you. Plus you have to wake up soon because if your mother finds me here she will have me arrested for we both know I am not on the permitted visitor's list._

 _E – You are right about that but I don't know if I can wake up John. Just because you love me isn't incentive enough for me to wake up. I thought that you loved me once before but instead you professed your love to Natalie. Isn't she waiting for you in Llanview?_

 _J- Natalie and I are not together._

 _E – Oh so that's what this is about. You're on the outs with Natalie so you come to see comatose Evangeline and pretend that you care for me. Get out John I hate you._

 _J- No I am not here because I'm on the outs with Natalie or anyone. I moved on from Natalie and am not seriously involved with anyone._

 _E – What do you mean seriously are you not seriously involved with someone?_

 _J – Okay we're getting off track here, I'm talking to you about me. Let me tell you what I want to happen, so don't talk just listen._

 _E – I can't talk John remember I'm in a coma you're talking for me and for you in your made up conversation_

 _J- All right Ms. Sassy just listen. I love you. I want you to recover and come back to Llanview and we can get to know each other again, and talk about marriage. I know that you don't believe in marriage but what's the use of dating if you don't want to marry. Dating and having sex seems like an endless merry go round and I don't want that with you. So reconsider marriage okay. Once we get reacquainted and this time no sex because we know how to do that and don't have to test whether we are compatible in that but this time we do things together that we both enjoy. I'm even open to going to the opera and the ballet how's that for a start._

 _E- Sounds like a good start John. Speaking of sounds what's that loud beeping._

I stop my conversation with Evangeline and hear the monitors beeping like crazy. The nurse rushes in the asks me to move away from the bed and checks the monitors, the doctor follows and orders me out of the room. What is happening? Did I cause something bad to happen? Oh no what have I done. All I wanted to do was talk to her. I wait out in the hall praying that Evangeline is okay. The minutes creep by slowly and just as the doctor and nurse exit Evangeline's room down the hall walks the last person that I want to see, Mrs. Williamson. She takes one look at me and is just about to raise a ruckus when the doctor calls to her.

" _Mrs. Williamson we were just going to call you. There's been a change with your daughter. She …"_

Before the doctor can finish Mrs Williamson starts to interrogate them about my presence here at the facility. The doctor replies that this officer came to visit her daughter. She's about to object when the doctor interrupts her,

" _Mrs. Williamson I don't know what issue you have with this officer but I would think that you will want to know about the change in your daughter's condition."_

At that Mrs. Williamson looks at the doctor bewildered,

" _What do you mean a change? What has happened to my daughter?"_

" _Mrs. Williamson your daughter is now breathing on her own and we have removed the breathing machine and her vitals are improving and it appears that she may be coming out of the coma."_

" _Oh my goodness doctor that is great news. What caused the change? We thought that the coma was irreversible. What changed?"_

" _Mrs. Williamson as much as we doctors like to think that we know everything about the human body there are just some things that are unexplainable. I am a doctor who believes in miracles and today Mrs. Williamson we have a miracle. We will monitor her closely for the next twenty four hours but I believe that it is safe to say that she is on the mend."_

" _Thank you doctor, thank you so much."_

" _Mrs. Williamson just one more thing, before you tear into this young man here just know that during the time that he was in the room with your daughter is when we noticed the change in her vital signs. Your daughter has monitors attached all over her body so that the nurses can monitor the patients from the central desk. Our printouts show that shortly after this officer arrived your daughter's vitals fluctuated more than they ever have and right before he exited the room the monitors beeped which indicated a high level change in her vitals. I don't know what happened in the room because contrary to popular belief we do not spy on our patients even though we do have cameras present for security sake. Your daughter's condition has improved and I believe you have this officer to thank for that._

" _I will take that under advisement doctor. May I see my daughter now?"_

" _Yes you may Mrs. Williamson. I will check on her again before the end of my shift."_

Mrs. Williamson moves to enter Evangeline's room and then turns to look at me and before leaving she says to me,

" _John I am surprised to see you here. Evangeline has been here for three years and this is the first time that you have visited. I know that we have never seen eye to eye as it concerns Evangeline but if you are responsible for her improving then I will put all of that aside and say thank you. Cookie is more important to me than any anger I may feel about the hurt that you caused my daughter."_

" _Mrs. Williamson I am sorry for the hurt that I caused Evangeline and I believe that before this happened to her that we at least were on speaking terms. I am sorry that it took me so long to visit but I hope that you will allow me to spend some time with her now that she has a good chance of recovering."_

" _That will be up to Evangeline John but until she can decide on that I have no objection to you spending time with her. Are you staying in town here?"_

" _I don't know. I came here directly from the airport I didn't think about anything but getting here to see Evangeline."_

" _This may surprise you to hear even more than it surprises me to say it but you can stay at my house John. You've made this long trip to visit Evangeline the least I can do is allow you to stay with me. Layla and Christian are on their way so that we will have a house full if you don't mind."_

" _Thank you for the offer Mrs. Williamson that is very kind of you. Do you mind if I wait for you here and maybe I can see Evangeline again before we leave?"_

" _Sure John I just want to sit with her alone for a while. It's been a while since I've seen here when all the tubes haven't been running out of her from everywhere."_


	8. Chapter 8 Lost and Found Part 3

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 8 Lost and Found**

 **Part 3 Found**

While Mrs. Williamson visits with Evangeline, Layla and Christian arrive at the hospital. It goes without saying that they are surprised to see me here. After explaining to them that I flew instead of driving as they did, they too go in and visit with Evangeline. Soon after the doctor returns to check on her and all visitors exit her room. We stand in the waiting room silently waiting to hear what the doctor has to say. The wait is not long and he returns to tell us that her condition is improving but he does not expect her to regain consciousness tonight and that we should all leave and get some rest and return in the morning. The doctor does say that if anything should happen before morning that he will have the staff to call Mrs. Williamson immediately. No one really wants to leave but he convinces us that we would just be in the way and that it is better that we return in the morning. Without any arguments from us we leave and head for Mrs. Williamson's house.

Upon arrival at the Williamson house Mrs. Williamson informs me that Christian and I will have to share a room because Layla will not share her room with Christian, not in her house. I smile at that gesture and nod my understanding. Tired from the drama of this day I take a shower and head for bed. Not in the mood for any conversation I quickly fall asleep.

This night I dream about Evangeline.

 **I** dream that she wakes up and doesn't remember anything about what we shared or remembers me at all. In a way I think that it is good that she doesn't remember for in that way she does not remember all of the hurt that I caused her and then I can court her and woo her to fall in love with me, John McBain; the John McBain who has come to his senses; the John McBain who loves her and can say it boldly; the John McBain who wants to marry her and have a family with her; and the John McBain who wants nothing more than to make her happy.

 **Then** the dream changes into a nightmare of her hating me for all of the pain that I caused her, coupled with all of the pain of losing three years of her life. She yells at me in the dream that if I had loved her she would not have been in Christian's studio and would have escaped the gassing, but

 **Then** the dream morphs into her crying that she wants to live; she wants to be happy; she wants love; she wants everything. And in the dream I take her in my arms and hold her and try to take away all of the pain that she has suffered: the pain of not feeling her father's love; the pain of my not loving her; the pain of the kidnapping; the pain of Todd's execution; the pain of Christian's mistrust; the pain of the OPP attack; and the pain of the coma. Like a vacuum I try to pull all of that pain out of her to exhaust it into the cosmos far away from her, far away from me, and far away from us.

Soon my mind calms and I sleep dreamlessly through the rest of the night.

We arrive at the hospital just as the doctor completes his examination of Evangeline and he has good news for us. All tests indicate that she may come out of the coma soon and that we can see her now. Although she cannot respond his medical opinion is that she can hear us so he suggests that we talk to her but not about anything that we know will upset her. I smile when I think about my conversation with her yesterday. Mrs. Williamson goes in first and the rest of us go to the waiting room.

" _John why are you here? You never seemed interested in visiting Evangeline before now so what happened to cause this sudden visit?"_

" _Layla I know that is seems odd to see me here now after all of these years but it's not something that I can explain but it is just something that I felt that I had to do."_

" _How long do you intend to stay and when did you decide to do this? You didn't say anything yesterday when I asked for time off."_

" _As I said Layla it's not something that I can explain and as to how long I will be here I don't have an answer for that either. I'm hoping that Evangeline wakes up soon and then I will make plans."_

" _Okay John I won't give you the third degree anymore. I didn't know that you cared this much for my sister. Maybe I was wrong."_

" _So was I Layla, so was I."_

Mrs. Williamson came out of the room and then Layla and Christian went in. Looking at me Mrs. Williamson smiled and said,

" _You finally realized it didn't you?"_

" _Realized what Mrs. Williamson, I'm not sure that I understand what you mean?"_

" _After all of these years you finally realized that you love her and when Layla asked you for time off you thought that Evangeline was dying and you didn't want her to die without her knowing that you really do love her."_

" _How did you know, I didn't know it myself until yesterday? It was like I was just sitting in a dark room and a sign lit up and all that I had buried deep down inside of me about her flashed on that sign like a neon light. I just knew that I had to come and see her and talk to her even if she can't talk to me and so I did. I talked to her yesterday about a lot of things but there are still things that I have to tell her. I need her to survive Mrs. Williamson. It's like I've been walking around for years in a fog and when I saw her yesterday it was like a ray of sunshine cutting through that fog. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this maybe all of these things had to happen, not saying that I wished any of this on her, you, or me, but I'm just glad that I came."_

" _Well John what will you do with all of this information now. How long do you plan to stay here? You have a job you know."_

" _Yes I have a job Mrs. Williamson but that's not important right now. Too many times I put my job before Evangeline but for once that will not happen this time. I don't know how long I will stay, it really depends on her. I have time accrued that I can take and I'm sure that I can find an extended stay hotel somewhere nearby, as a matter of fact I saw one as we drove in this morning. I'll check on it when we leave. I can rent a car to get around while I am here so you don't have to worry about me I will be all right."_

" _That sounds like a good plan John and if that is what you want to do you know best, but, you are welcome to stay with me. It's free and you get meals along with that. I can use the company if you don't mind talking to an old lady."_

" _Mrs. Williamson you are far from old and that is a generous offer. Let me think about it and I will let you know. Oh here come Layla and Christian. May I go in and see her now?"_

" _Of course John, that's why you came right?"_

" _Yes it is. Thank you Mrs. Williamson for your kindness. I know that I don't deserve it but I thank you for it nonetheless."_

" _You are welcome John now go in and talk to Evangeline. I'll be here when you finish. This is how I spend my days so I'm used to waiting."_

Nodding to Layla and Christian as I pass them on the way to Evangeline's room they do something unexpected, they both thank me for coming. No, I'm the one who should thank them for allowing my presence. I make it to her room and go in and sit down in what I will now call my chair. At first I don't say anything I just look at her. She has a little more color in her cheeks and not as many tubes. The breathing machine is gone and the heart monitor beeps a casual rhythm. Looks like either her mother or Layla did something different with her hair. She looks cute as usual. I always thought that she was beautiful but looking at her now even being ill she is still gorgeous. I take her hand and rub her fingers. Now what do I say to her? The doctor says don't say anything that will upset her so what do I say? She always wanted me to open up to her but can I say all of those things now some of them are gruesome? So I start from the beginning, I tell her about my childhood before my dad died. Skipping over my dad's death I tell her about college and meeting Caitlin and falling in love, not sure that she wants to hear about me being in love with another woman again, but she already knew that I loved Caitlin before I ever met her. Then I talk about the things that I like. I like working out, I like reading, I like being a police officer, I like beer, domestic not imported or specialty beers, I like music, a bit of all kinds but not classical or rap, I like football and baseball, and I like her. I like her as a person because she is a good person. I like her as an attorney because she is the best that I have seen, I like her as a woman because she is sensual, charming, and oh so sweet. Don't get me started on how much I like making love to her because we will be here all day and that's not what this is about. It is about talking with her letting her know that I am here for her. Before I know it the nurses are back in to take her down for therapy. In that it looks like she will regain consciousness soon they decide to start her on some physical therapy to reduce the atrophy of her limbs. Leaving her room I return to the waiting room to find Mrs. Williamson, Layla, Christian and Evangeline's Uncle Clay. From the expression on his face I can tell that he's none to happy to see me.

" _Look what the cat dragged in. Lt. McBain what brings you here so many years later? I guess you say better late than never but I would say too little, too late."_

" _Clay now don't give John a hard time. He came here to see Evangeline and it doesn't matter why it's just good that he has. The doctor said that John's talking to Evangeline had a major effect on her and they think that she will wake up soon. I don't know why I keep saying 'wake up' it's not like she's asleep but it's the only thing that I can think of to say. Anyway she's breathing on her own and they've taken her for physical therapy so that's a good sign. Play nice Clay. All of us are here for Evangeline remember that. She is important in all of this not our petty squabbles. I won't have any unnecessary tension around her. John has realized the error of his ways and is trying to make amends. Let him do so Clay without your interference."_

" _Lisa I just don't like his 'Johnny come lately' appearance but you're right everything is about Evangeline and if his presence helps her to recover then I will not interfere, BUT, if he causes her one bit of pain all bets are off."_

" _That's only fair Mr. Williamson and I assure you that I am not here to cause Evangeline any pain and if I see that I am then I will leave immediately."_

" _I'm okay with that McBain just make sure that you remember that when the time comes. Lisa when she returns may I sit with her for a while? I've not been here in a few weeks and I want her to know that I've not stopped thinking about her."_

" _Of course you may Clay. She will enjoy that. I see that they're returning her to her room. Let me go and check on her and I will come back for you."_

Three days have passed since I arrived and Evangeline still has not come out of the coma but she improves every day. I do continue to stay with Mrs. Williamson, at her insistence, and it's quite enjoyable. After we leave the hospital each night we stop for food and take it back to her house and she tells me about Evangeline when she was younger, from childhood to college, to her moving to Llanview. She has me laughing about some of the things that Evangeline and Layla did as children and Layla was none to happy with her for telling those stories. Christian and I shared a laugh or two at her expense.

Day four and Mrs. Williamson and Layla are in with Evangeline when I notice staff rushing to her room. My heart feels with dread that something awful has happened. Trying not to cry I bow my head in prayer asking the Lord for grace in all of this. Then I see Mrs. Williamson exit Evangeline's room and I fear the worst but then I see a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. Layla follows her out of the room and they head our way.

" _She's awake, she's awake. She looked at me and said Mom. Oh thank God, I am so happy she is awake. They're taking her down for scans and the sort so they told us to get something to eat because the tests will take some time. She's awake."_

My legs can't hold me and I plop in the chair behind me. I give a prayer of thanks. She's awake. No sweeter words have I heard in some time. She's awake.

A week after coming out of the coma Evangeline is progressing very well. All the tests show that her mental faculties are intact, she remembers who she is and once told the current date she realizes that she has lost over three years of her life. She cried when her mother told her that but she cheered up when they told her all that had happened in that time and she was glad that she missed all of that. They will keep her here for a month more for physical therapy and then she will go home with her mother. When word spread of her recovery everyone was so elated. Todd wanted to come right away but her mother insisted that he not come until she has completed her therapy and not wanting to battle with Mrs. Williamson he agreed.

Finally she and I have some time alone and we talk. At first she was very hesitant to talk with me because she didn't understand why I am here but I told her that I would explain everything at one time and so she agreed to talk with me alone. With no distractions and no interruptions, something that we were never able to have when we were together, I told her **everything** : from the day I left my office to come to see her; my conversation with her that first day here; and then I told her everything from my father's death, Caitlin's death, my involvement with her, my involvement with Natalie, Todd's son fiasco, everything and then after I told her about the past I talked to her about how I envision the future. My words paint a picture of her recovery, her returning to practice law, and her marriage to me and our having children. You can imagine at that point she looked at me like I was crazy but I didn't stop there. This picture involved a lot of work on my part of courting her and taking her on dates and doing things together that we both enjoy. Carefully I added that I will not make the same mistakes that I made before with her. I want to know her as she has changed and I would not have sex with her or make love to her until our wedding night. I don't want her to ever think that I am with her just for sex. Never again do I want her to ever think that.

" _John why are you doing this now? What caused you to come to this realization after all of these years and do you really expect me to want a life with you after all that has happened?"_

" _Evangeline all that I ask is that you give me a chance to gain your love. Give me a chance to woo you to court you and maybe have you fall in love with me. This John McBain not the brooding, selfish, unfeeling, and callous John McBain. This John McBain is no longer_ _ **LOST**_ _." I want you Evangeline and I pray with all that is within me that one day you will want me too. I want to marry you, I don't just want to date you and then have you go home and we go from date to date. That's an endless roller coaster ride. I want to go on dates that lead us to having a life together as man and wife. That the ending that I want. Please give me a chance Evangeline, please. I will not disappoint you or me. Do you remember telling me once that if you knew there was a chance that you would stick with me forever? Well I'm asking for a chance Evangeline. If I know that there is a chance for me with you then I will stick with you forever."_

" _I can't answer you now John but I will think about it. Will you give me time to think about it. This is a big decision. Don't you have to get back to work anyway you've been gone for over two weeks now?"_

" _No you don't get to put me off using my job little lady. I talked with Bo and he faxed me the paperwork for a leave of absence that I completed and faxed back to him so I have time. So I will give you time to think about what I said. Your mother has been gracious enough to allow me to stay with her but I don't want to overstay my welcome. Tell you what I will do. You're in therapy for the next couple of weeks so I will stay until the end of your therapy and hopefully you will have made up your mind by then. I won't pressure you because once you tell me that you will allow me in your life I'm in it forever, no taking it back, understand?"_

" _Yes I understand John. I will think seriously about this and will give you an answer when I have one okay."_

" _Good."_

The doctor rearranged Evangeline's therapy sessions and allowed her to do them as an outpatient. The weeks go by and Evangeline's therapy goes very well and not giving her any time to think about rejecting me after her therapy sessions I take her on mini dates, nothing too strenuous, but nevertheless they are dates. This surprises her to no end but she thoroughly enjoys all of it and so do I. Not having received any answer from her and with her therapy ending tomorrow I am fearful that she has rejected my offer. With her mother out for the evening and Layla and Christian returned to Llanview soon after Evangeline awoke from the coma, she and I are in the house alone tonight. I am nervous that this night she will tell me to leave and to never return. Evangeline decides to cook tonight so I am upstairs taking a shower and changing into sweats so that we can sit and talk comfortably. The dinner is already prepared and Evangeline's also showering after working hard preparing dinner. We both meet downstairs in the kitchen and I set the dining room table. Tonight she wants to eat in the dining room instead of in the kitchen.

We sit down to eat and something is odd about the food on the table. These are my favorite foods. I remember telling her about my favorite foods during one of our conversations when she was in the hospital. Not knowing what to say I put the food on my plate and start eating. She doesn't say much during the meal and then we clear away the dishes, clean them, put them away and then retire to the living room to sit. Not much of a television watcher we usually just sit and talk after dinner but I must say that I'm not sure what to talk about tonight.

" _John you seem nervous tonight, what is wrong?"_

" _I don't know Evangeline. First of all thank you for dinner as everything was delicious and some of my favorite foods. I appreciate that but I must say that I am a bit nervous about that. Did you make my favorite foods tonight to ease the blow of you rejecting me?"_

" _Oh John evidently I didn't do something right because on the contrary, I made your favorite foods as a way to say that I would love to have a life with you. These last few weeks have shown me that you are sincere in your desire to be with me and you have convinced me that it would be an adventure that I just can't pass up. So woo me and court me to your heart's content and let's travel this road to matrimony together. But how do we do this John? I'm still in rehab, you live in Llanview, and my law practice is closed, how do we do this?"_

" _Well not knowing if you would accept me or not I made inquiries hoping that you would and I have this news:_

 _You can continue your rehabilitation therapy in Llanview. I've already found a facility that can provide all of the services that you currently have here. Your mother helped me on checking whether your insurance will cover the services in Llanview and it will._

 _Nora wants you back as Assistant District Attorney. So all that you have to do is renew your credentials and you have a job._

 _You can live with me until you find a place of your own. I've already viewed online two apartments that will suit us and are available for immediate occupancy. Just so you know they both have two bedrooms so we will have separate sleeping quarters."_

" _Well it seems that you have thought of everything Mr. McBain. What would you have done if I rejected you?"_

" _I would have left you alone as I said but I would be a very sad man for the rest of my life. I am so glad that you decided to take a chance on me Evangeline. We will have a good life I know it. There is one thing that I do ask to seal this agreement. May I kiss you?"_

" _Yes you may John."_

And I do kiss her pouring in to that kiss all of the love that I have for her, the relief of her giving me another chance, and the joy of knowing that she is again in my life. I am now **FOUND**.


	9. Chapter 9 Why Can't She See?

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 9 Why Can't She See?**

We arrive too late!

" _Stop the execution! Manning is innocent! He didn't kill anybody!"_

Panic breaks out and they rush to revive Todd. I hold on to Margaret to make certain that she doesn't escape. Medical staff tends to Todd while Evangeline asks to speak with me out in the hall. Christian leads her to me and I take her hand and walk with her to the hallway. She wants to talk privately about this new evidence. Margaret Cochran is alive. Todd Manning is innocent of murder.

" _You were right once again Counselor. Your client didn't do it."_

" _I knew Todd was innocent but I never imagined this scenario."_

She asks if Margaret said anything about who helped pull off this charade but I had not answer for her because Margaret Cochran doesn't seem to know what is happening. Evangeline's concerned about Truman administering care to Todd at this critical time. Evangeline and Todd believe that Truman masterminded this entire situation but as yet we have no proof unless Margaret can add something to the conversation. I too want to know Truman's part in all of this. Finding Margaret proves that Todd didn't kill her but we still don't know who caused all of this turmoil.

Our conversation finishes and Evangeline calls for Christian to walk her back in to the observation room. I'm standing right here next to her why can't I walk her back in? As Christian leads her away I look after her longingly. I went clear across the world to follow up a lead about my father's murder and find Margaret Cochran. This clenches Evangeline's case that Todd is innocent. I helped her, why can't she see that? I know that she is blind but why can't she see that I did this for her?

As Evangeline leaves with Christian, Natalie hobbles out to the hall to talk with me. How did I get myself into this mess? Evangeline lost her eyesight because of me. She found evidence about my father's murder and instead of just waiting for another time to tell me she stayed around at the church after Michael's wedding and the tornado hit and she was injured. How many times does she get hurt because of me? She gets attacked at a train station because she's involved with me; the Killing Club Killer kidnaps her and sets a fire at her feet because she was involved with me. The killers saw that I couldn't make up my mind between her and Natalie so the killers kidnapped both of them to force me to choose. Unlike Indiana Jones in the _Raiders of the Lost Ark the Last Crusade_ when the ancient knight who protects the Holy Grail tells Indy to 'choose wisely' I made the wrong choice and I regret it to this day. Unfortunately I cannot change that choice for it is forever etched in my mind and in her heart. She translated that choice as my choosing Natalie as the one that I love and she was wrong. I was wrong. Even though Natalie is now like my shadow I don't love her like I love Evangeline but it is too late to do anything about that.

Other than the time that I stopped by to see Evangeline just before Hayes Barber's arraignment she's not said again that she loves me. And now with her blindness I guess even blind she can see that I am not the one for her. But why would she change her mind about me? What have I done to make a difference? For months she told me that Todd was innocent but we closed the case when he was convicted and look at that an innocent man was convicted. But I should have known better. She always said that he was innocent but me, Mr. Law Enforcement saw all the evidence pointing to him as the killer and not once did I ever question that he was innocent but I should have because she thought that he was. Look at all that I did to prove Natalie's innocence and I didn't do anything to help Evangeline with Todd's case. The only reason that I found Margaret was because I was looking for David Vickers, the person who shot my father otherwise I would not have done anything to help her case.

Even still I wish that she knew that I care for her. 'Care for her' what does that mean? She's better off without me and she's not made any moves in my direction but why should she? I have more to gain in a relationship with her than she has to gain in a relationship with me and plus Natalie is always around. Just another sore spot to prevent any reconciliation between Evangeline and me. Well I only have myself to blame.

Now Christian is always around her. What is that about? Are they involved? Although it is none of my business I don't want her with anyone else. How selfish can I be? I don't care how selfish it sounds I want her with me and if not with me then not with anybody. John you are ridiculous now. How come you can be with Natalie but Evangeline can't be with anyone but you? That's just the way that I feel but I know that she will find someone else. She has so much to offer a man and just because I could not appreciate her does not mean that someone else won't. It will hurt to see her out and about with someone else but I can't prevent that. She's made it clear that we are over so I have to make the best of what I have.

But why can't she see that I want her? Why can't she see that I was wrong to let her go? I told her that I didn't want our relationship to be over and that I didn't want to lose her but my actions did not match my words. As soon as I rescued Natalie I made no further advances toward Evangeline. That sealed my fate. I remember when she walked in to the police station and saw me kissing Natalie and I rushed after her and she told me that I don't have to worry about her ever again and she shut me out ever since then. I can't blame her but I miss her.

 **Why can't she see that I need her?**


	10. Chapter 10 Come Let Us Sit and Talk

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 10 Come Let Us Sit and Talk**

Bo meets me in the lobby once I arrive back at the station after he calls me to come in to talk with him. We walk to his office and he tells me that the OPP have attacked again this time carbon monoxide poisoning at Christian Vega's studio. When the police arrived they found Lindsay Rappaport unconscious on the floor and the studio door sealed from the outside. Upon breaking in they found Evangeline, Nora, Officer Sahid and Vega all unconscious on the floor. Pulling them out the EMT administers oxygen and they revive but then Evangeline's heart stopped and CPR was administered. They took everyone to the hospital. Bo says that Evangeline has not regained consciousness. He instructs me to go to the hospital and interview everyone. As I depart I tell Bo that if Evangeline doesn't survive that I will hunt down the culprits and kill them myself. Oh big words from me now when I haven't even talked to her in weeks. We shall see just how vigorous I pursue this matter.

Arriving at the hospital I see Officer Sahid and consult with her on what happened. Once I finish taking notes I ask her if she thinks that the doctor will allow me to see Evangeline. She asks if Evangeline and I were close and I tell her that we still are. McBain you are such a liar. How do you define 'close'? You haven't been there for her. You don't check up on her on a regular basis. You two are not 'close'.

Bo arrives and I see the doctor exit Evangeline's room and we both rush up to ask the doctor about Evangeline. The doctor says that Evangeline is not doing well. The doctor then moves off to check on the other victims. I remain at Evangeline's door looking it. She lies on the bed motionless while her sister Layla and Christian Vega stand near her. I don't move from the doorway. What do I say to them, what do I say to her? Layla comes out of the room and tells me that she needs to call their mother and that she needs Evangeline to wake up. I hug Layla to me to comfort her all the while thinking that I too need Evangeline to wake up.

While the doctor and Bo talk to the other victims, including Christian, and Layla goes off to call her mother I go in to Evangeline's room. This time I sit on the chair next to her bed and just look at her. She looks like she is asleep but she's not, she's in a coma. I take her hand in mind and start talking to her. I tell her all the things that I regret that happened between us: my inability to articulate just how I feel about her; the lack of understanding on my part of just how my friendship with Natalie impacted my relationship with her; the pain that she endured because she was involved with me; and my final betrayal of moving on to Natalie without telling her. I don't know why I am saying all of this because she knows and I have told her before how sorry I am. If she were conscious she would probably say to me, _'Yes John you are sorry, a sorry piece of c***,'_ and she would be right. I tell her that I miss her, that I do, and that when she recovers we will be friends. I've made a mess of everything, my relationship with her and with Natalie. I should have just left both of them alone until I got myself together but I didn't and both of them are the worse for it. What I felt for Evangeline was so real and I wanted it to continue but she broke it off with me. I wanted us together and we still would be if I had any say in it. _"Evangeline you have to survive so that we can have our 'do over'. We deserve a second chance to get it right."_

Suddenly the monitors start beeping and lights start flashing. The nurses and doctor rush in the move me out of the way. They start working on Evangeline. I don't know what's happening. Maybe she's regaining consciousness. Then I hear, _"_ _ **CODE BLUE"**_. That is not good. The nurse asks that I leave the room and I do. Walking outside her room I find everyone standing there wondering why the doctors and nurses rushed into Evangeline's room. I tell them that she wasn't doing anything and I was just holding her hand and talking to her. They ask if I said anything that might have upset her and I tell them that I did not. Layla returns and asks why everyone is huddled outside Evangeline's door, did something else happen to her sister but before Nora can answer the doctor walks out and stands before us.

" _I am sorry but she didn't make it. Her heart stopped and we could not revive her. She is gone."_

Layla and Nora cling to each other and cry. Layla cries for the loss of her sister and Nora for the loss of her best friend. Standing there in shock I turn from them to wipe away a tear. I can't believe that she's gone. We will never have our second chance now. I waited too late.

Things now happen in a flurry and before I know it Evangeline's family has her body moved to Maryland for the funeral and burial but Mrs. Williamson does approve of our having a memorial service here in Llanview. Nora, Christian and Todd attend the funeral in Maryland and return to also attend the memorial service in Llanview. Nora and Todd organize the memorial service and it is packed with those who worked with Evangeline and people from the community. She touched many lives during her time in Llanview. After Nora and Todd say their part they open it up for thoughts or comments from those present. Antonio stood to talk about his times with Evangeline. Staff from her office talked about how great of a boss she was. Judges from court expressed their admiration for her knowledge of the law and police officers told of how she always showed them respect. I sit in the back listening to all of them. Asking for any final words Todd begins to close the service. Not able to hold myself still any longer I stand and walk to the front **and say so that everyone can hear,**

 **" _I loved her, I love her and I will love her until the day that I die."_**

 **THE END**


	11. Chapter 11 Not Like Before

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 11 Not Like Before**

Months have passed since the attack at Christian Vega's study by the One Pure People in which several people were injured and Evangeline lapsed into a coma. All of those responsible for the attack were apprehended, readily tried, convicted and sentenced. Since this was a hate crime it became a federal offense and all those convicted will serve many years in prison.

Llanview residents return to their humdrum lives and it appears that things return to normal after the horrific events of the last few months. But things are not always as they appear. I do recover from the coma but my life is not like it was before. Maybe it's something about almost dying that changes you and believe me when I say that I have changed. No longer do I 'suffer fools kindly' or have patience with rude and inconsiderate people.

No longer satisfied with being second fiddle to Nora in the District Attorney's office I return to private practice and my client base has increased but returning to my law practice takes more of an effort this time than it did after my blindness. This time around I now only handle cases that provide me a challenge. Previously my cases bordered on the mundane but now my cases allow me to fully demonstrate my prowess both in and out of the courtroom. The courses that I have completed lately have allowed me to improve my credentials and I have also been offered the opportunity to teach some classes at the local community college, when time allows of course, and that way I might shape a new generation of lawyers.

Another change involves my reluctance to let anyone get close to me, that is, knowing what I am thinking or what my plans may be. I keep myself to myself. Not even my sister Layla is allowed into my inner sanctum. Nora and Layla have commented on this change but do not press the matter. By the time of my recovery Todd has returned from his search for his son by Margaret Cochran and I assist him in gaining custody of Sam. Todd understands this change in me. He knows firsthand what a brush with death will do to you. He supports me in whatever I want to do and I appreciate that from him.

Taking a little time out to relax I head to Roadie's for a burger, fries and a beer. Walking in I hear the music from the jukebox and find a table. Placing my order I sit back and enjoy the ambiance. While waiting for my order I look around and see John and Natalie at another table. Her back is to me and he's facing in my direction. Smirking I get up and go to the jukebox and select a song and return to my table. My order arrives and I start eating. Concentrating on my food I am enjoying myself until the song that I chose starts playing on the jukebox and then I look up and see John looking directly at me. I smirk and return to my food. The words of the song waft through the air, "All in love is fair". Finishing my food, I pay the bill and leave for my car. Before I make it to my car I hear someone call my name, 'Evangeline'. I knew that he would follow me after hearing that song.

" _Evangeline how are you? It's good to see you out and about."_

I don't respond to his inquiry and just stand there while he talks.

" _About the song, I remember the first time that I heard it you sang it to me. What was it this time, are you trying to say something to me?"_

Still I do not respond to him and continue to stare at him while he talks.

" _Aren't you going to say anything?"_

At that I open my car door, get in my car, close the door and drive away.

John wonders to himself what that was about but then goes back inside Roadie's.

" _John why did you run out of here like that? Did you go after Evangeline, why would you do that and leave me here by myself? Do you still want her John after all of these years? Is that why you can't commit to me?"_

" _Natalie I'm here with you what more do you want from me?"_

Not wanting to get in an argument with John Natalie starts talking about something else. John is relieved because he does not want to talk about Evangeline with Natalie. He still can't figure out what just happened.

I make it back to my apartment and prepare for bed. After a nice hot shower I relax in my bed. I think about the encounter with John and have to smile. How wonderful it feels to have control again of myself. No longer do I try to figure out what is happening with him or anyone else. Now everybody is trying to figure out what's happening with me. Good let's keep them on their toes. I don't do this purposefully but things just happen. Definitely not like before when I was always taking the high road. Now if you come in my face you will not like the outcome.

The next day finds me at the police station to get information on one of my cases. While in the building I decide to stop by to talk with Commissioner Buchanan. As I walk to his office Natalie yells after me, and I do mean yell. Seeing other officers present I think to myself oh here we go. She approaches me and asks about what happened last night. Just as I did with John I do not respond to her. Turning to continue on my way to Bo's office she grabs my arm. Looking at her hand on my arm, then at the officers standing there, I say loud enough for everyone to hear me,

" _Mrs. Vega remove you hand from by body or I may bring assault charges against you."_

" _You wouldn't do that, you never did before?"_

When she said that I turn to the officer and say,

" _Officer I want to press assault charges against_ _Mrs. Vega and as you have witnessed she has confessed that she has done this before so I want to add battery charges. Now if you will assist Mrs. Vega in removing her hand from my person I would appreciate it. Once you have the paperwork for my signature I will wait for you to arrest her on those charges."_

Just as the officer moves to remove Natalie's hand from my arm Natalie raises her other hand to slap me but before she can make contact I give her a left hook to the jaw and knock her out.

" _Officer I will ask you to write a witness statement that I hit Mrs. Vega in self defense. The other officers here can sign as witnesses. The clerk can notarize the statement. You might have someone to give Mrs. Vega some medical attention but I am sure she will survive."_

Hearing the commotion Bo rushes out of his office and asks what happened. The officers give him a play-by-play account of what happened. Bo apologizes to me for his niece's behavior and assures me that he will personally handle the job related reprimand that will be issued. He asks if I still want to press charges against Natalie and I tell him that the charges will stand. The officers tend to Natalie and she comes to and tries to explain what happened. When the witnesses refuted her account of what happened, she was arrested and taken to a holding cell. Not wanting to waste any more time here I delay my meeting with the Commissioner and return to my office.

As they say good news spread fast but bad news spreads like a wildfire. Before I make it to my office door I hear people talking about the 'knock down at the station'. Not wanting to spur any more talk on the subject I ask my receptionist to hold my calls. An hour later I have calmed down and allowed calls and the first person to call me is my friend Todd.

" _Evangeline why didn't you tell me I would have bought tickets to see that? Now that's something that I would have done. You are my hero!"_

" _Todd she is your niece. Where is your loyalty?"_

" _With you, always with you. Are you okay? The old Evangeline would never have done anything like that. I like the new you."_

" _Todd we both know and you better than anyone know that a lot has changed and some of the things that I might have allowed before I will not allow now. Others thought that they could simply dismiss me as inconsequential well I'm here to put everyone on notice that I matter and no one and I mean_ _ **NO ONE**_ _will disregard me ever again."_

" _That's my girl! So do you want to have dinner with me tonight at the Palace because I'm sure that word has spread and we need to be seen so folks will know don't mess with Evangeline Williamson."_

" _I'm all for it Todd. I will meet you there at 7 p.m. so let me get back to work okay."_

" _Okay I will see you at 7 tonight."_

Finishing the files on my desk take more time than anticipated but I do and hurry out of my office to my get home to shower, change and arrive at the Palace right on time. Todd is already there with what looks like a present for me. I sit down and he puts the box in front of me and tells me to open it. Inside I find a medal with #1 and a boxing glove on it. I smile. Leave it to Todd to do something like this.

" _I would ask you to wear the medal during dinner but that might seem too blatant so you can wear it at home and only we two will know about it. I want you to know how proud I am of you my friend. You have new strength now and won't let anyone disrespect or walk over you again. Now let's eat to celebrate."_

" _Todd thank you so much for your support. I think that you are the only one who understands what is happening to me now and that is such a comfort that someone understands."_

Todd reaches over and takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. As he does both Christian and John walk to our table.

" _Evangeline are you all right? I heard what happened at the police station today with Natalie. That doesn't' sound like something that you would do Evangeline. Are you sure that you've recovered fully from the coma?"_

" _Christian you of all people should know that traumatic events can change a person. Can you claim to be the same Christian Vega from before your kidnapping? No, I didn't think so. So although the essential core of who I am remains the same some things about me have changed so I suggest that folks just deal with the changes because I'm not here to appease anyone."_

" _Evangeline I'm glad to see that you are okay. Do you intend to maintain those charges against Natalie? I'm sure that she didn't intend to harm you."_

" _John why am I not surprised that you take Natalie's account in all of this? So I guess all of the officers that witnessed the altercation were having delusions or hallucinations. Yes I will maintain the charges. She will have to suffer the consequences of her action."_

" _But Evangeline you are an officer of the court and engaged in a physical altercation with someone."_

" _John, John, John wrong again as usual. Being an officer of the court never prevented you from breaking the law to save Natalie. But unlike you I did everything by the book within the law. It's funny about you saying that I'm an officer of the court. Just today in court, Judge Thornton made a point to commend me on my handling of the situation. Of course everyone knows the history between Natalie and me. Everyone knows about how your indecision played out in everything that happened between Natalie and me. Judge Thornton praised me for following the rules and with such grace. The officers in the station when testifying on the case repeatedly said how I explained every step to Natalie but she persisted in her actions. So if you and Christian will leave now so that my friend and I can finish our meal. And just so that we are clear on this, don't ever come up to me again questioning my actions. What I do is none of your business. If you can't abide by that then maybe I need to take out some restraining orders on the lot of you, you Christian, you John and probably Natalie. I don't have the time or the patience to listen to anything that you have to say."_

" _Evangeline what has gotten into you that you talk like this?"_ both John and Christian ask.

" _Well definitely not either of you thank goodness."_

" _Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely, the lady has said all that she needs to say so if you don't mind we want to finish our meal."_

" _Sure Todd hanging around with you has really rubbed off on her,"_ John said smugly.

While John was making his comment I take out my phone and dial a number and say so that each of them Todd, Christian and John can hear,

" _Nora it's Evangeline I have a favor to ask. Oh so you heard. Yes I am fine. Sure I know you are amazed that I didn't do this before because you would have slapped her years ago. Thanks for that Nora. I appreciate your understanding in the matter. Now as to my favor, I want two restraining orders issued for one John McBain and two for Christian Vega. I don't want them within fifty feet of me. Yes you guessed it. I'm here having dinner with my other friend and they are harassing me. Will you have them issued and served? You are a gem Nora thank you. I will talk with you later"_

Ending my conversation with Nora I put my phone back in my purse and face both Christian and John and with total resolve say to them,

" _Expect the restraining orders with the next hour or so because like me Nora is very diligent in her duties. Any further actions by you two will result in criminal charges. So good bye."_

" _Evangeline I can't believe that you would do something like this. I am sorry to see this change in you,"_ Christian says as he turns to walk away.

" _Well you always want your women meek and docile and you the head honcho Christian but that is not me, not anymore."_

" _I loved the old Evangeline,"_ Christian said.

" _No you didn't neither of you did. Both of you used the old Evangeline but no one will use me ever again. Good night and goodbye."_

Evangeline Williamson, the second edition, new and improved, taking no prisoners, and doing it her way has given notice to Llanview. She has risen from the ashes a new person with a take it or leave it attitude and offering no apologies. **NOT LIKE BEFORE** and the best is yet to come.


	12. Chapter 12 If at first You don't Succeed

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 12 If at first You don't Succeed**

" _Todd I can help you in your search for your son. I know my way around Chicago. Let me come with you."_

" _No Evangeline it is too dangerous. I don't know what awaits me there and I will not have you jeopardize your career again for me. Now I have to leave. I will contact you when I return."_

" _I don't like it Todd but if you don't want me to come I won't add any more to your worry. Bye."_

We hug and he leaves and I stand here disappointed that he doesn't want me to help him. Big-mouthed Layla had to add her 'no' cents to the conversation and then the death certificate clenched him not wanting me to go with him. So let me unpack my bag because I'm not going anywhere but before I can pick up my bag to head to my bedroom I hear a knock at my door. Maybe it's Todd and he's changed his mind. Slinging open the door hoping to see Todd but instead here stands John McBain.

" _John what are you doing here? What do you want?"_

" _Are you going somewhere?"_

" _What I do and where I go is none of your business so why are you here?"_

" _I just want to talk with you. Do you have a minute?"_

" _A minute is all that you have so start talking."_

" _I want another chance with you."_

" _Are you drunk?"_

" _No I am not drunk. I want another chance with you Evangeline."_

" _Oh I get it now, you're on the outs with Natalie and you think that you can come to me as your rebound girl. You have some nerve. We ended over two years ago John and there is no going back."_

" _No I'm not on the outs with Natalie and no I don't want to go back I want to go forward. The only time that I have really been happy since Caitlin died is when I was with you. I want that back. I want to feel that again."_

" _I can't help you John. I've moved on from you just as you so quickly moved on from me. Let's not have this conversation again. Now your minute is up and I have things to do so if you will excuse me and leave so that I can do those things I would appreciate it."_

" _What can I do to change your mind? Is there anything that I can do?"_

" _ **NO!"**_

" _Okay I have your answer. So when are you leaving for your trip?"_

" _It looks like I'm not leaving. I planned to go with Todd to find his son but he left without me."_

" _What if I go with you and help you to help Todd will that prove to you that I am serious about having another chance with you?"_

" _John you don't even like Todd so why would you do that?"_

" _Because you want to help him and I want to do something for and with you."_

" _But don't you have to work? You'll take time off from work to go with me to Chicago? You never take time off from work."_

" _I will now if you let me go with you."_

" _John you couldn't stay away from your job long enough to have an uninterrupted conversation with me when we were together so I don't believe that you will take time off to go with me."_

Just as John is about to respond his phone rings and I look at him and smirk waiting for him to answer the call. To my surprise he turns off his phone.

" _Why did you do that John? It might have been important."_

" _Nothing is more important than this conversation with you. So may I go to Chicago with you? Give me thirty minutes and I will meet you back here and we can go to the airport."_

" _I don't believe you John. I will leave here in thirty minutes without you. Bye."_

John hurries to his apartment, packs, and returns to Evangeline's apartment in twenty-five minutes.

" _Are you ready to leave?"_

" _Color me surprised that you made it back in time. Well let's go."_

We make it to the airport and to Chicago. We meet up with Todd and it is no surprise to me that Blair hitched a ride on her broomstick to be in Chicago also. John does prove helpful in getting information at the police station and suggesting that perhaps the child was placed in foster care. Using his police credentials he found the agency that handled the child's care and adoption placement. To our bewilderment the child is in Llanview right under our noses. Todd, to say the least, is furious. Blair and I try to calm him down and John is just as confused about this revelation.

We four return to Llanview prepared to confront those responsible for this mess and to get Todd his son. Before Todd can cause injury to the person who has his son I get a court order for blood tests and to place the child in foster care until paternity is legally established and Todd can claim his parental rights. Todd demands that John not handle this case and to my surprise he does not object to Todd's request.

The social services worker, a police officer and I arrive at the residence to collect the child and take him for testing and then placement in foster care until the court decides the case. The police officer takes the lead so that when the door opens the house resident sees the police officer first.

" _Dr. Michael McBain this court order demands that you relinquish custody of the child 'Tommy McBain' to this social service worker until paternity is determined for the child. Failure to comply will result in your arrest."_

" _Michael what is happening, why do they want Tommy? Why is Evangeline here?"_

" _Mrs. McBain we must take the child now. Please do not interfere."_

" _Evangeline what is this about? Why are you here?"_

" _Marcie I am here representing my client. That is all that I can say. Please relinquish the child to the social service worker. The court will decide the rest."_

" _I don't understand but I will do it. I don't want to commit any crime."_

The social service worker takes the child and returns to her car. The police officer and I return to our respective cars and he heads back to the police station and I head to the hospital. The blood tests to determine paternity will take place now at the hospital. Margaret Cochran's DNA is on file from the time that she was in the hospital after Todd's execution.

After a few hours we obtain the paternity results and the judge holds an emergency session to resolve this matter. He does not want to delay his ruling. Upon determination that Todd is the biological father of the child and he never renounced his parental rights the judge orders that Todd is the legal father and has all rights to the child. The judge orders that social services release the child to his father, Todd Manning. Todd takes the child with him to his home. He knows that this won't be easy because the child has spent so much time with the McBains but Todd will make the best of this situation. He now has his son and that is all that matters. Todd Manning of old would have been out for blood that is no longer the way that he handles things. The McBains losing 'their son' is pain enough. Todd knows the pain of not knowing if his son was dead or alive and now the McBains have the pain of knowing that 'their son' is alive but no longer their son.

Tired and wanting a shower and something to eat I make it back to my apartment. After the shower and dinner I sit down with a good book. Knock, knock. Now who is at my door?

" _Who is it?"_

" _Evangeline it's John may I come in?"_

Opening the door I am not prepared for what I see. John looks like he has lost his best friend. He looks haggard and tired.

" _John what's wrong? Did you talk to Michael and Marcie? Is that why you look so bad?"_

" _Yes I talked with them Evangeline and I can't for the life of me understand why Michael did this."_

" _What did he say? Oh come in, we don't need to have this conversation in the hallway."_

" _He said the craziest thing but it sounded like he believed what he was saying and some way or another he thought that justified what he did."_

" _So how did he explain what he did as if there is an explanation for doing such a thing."_

" _He said that he found out that Tommy was Todd's son but he thought that Tommy would have a better life with him and Marcie. After all the bad that Todd has done he didn't deserve to have Tommy. Todd never did anything bad to Tommy. Margaret Cochran forced Todd to create Tommy. Didn't he suffer enough from that and add to it that the man was unjustly tried, convicted and executed for killing Margaret and Tommy. He has every right to his son. How could Michael live that lie?"_

I just stand there and look at him. In a way I feel sorry for him for knowing that his brother could do something so cruel but I also remember that John himself did something similar. No he did not keep a child from his parent but he did keep a man locked in prison without everyone knowing all of the facts. My lack of response causes him to look at me and the look in his eyes let's me know that he knows what I am thinking.

" _I did a similar thing to Christian Vega so how can I condemn Michael for his error in judgment. We are screwed up aren't we?"_

Again I make no reply for my answer to that comment will only exacerbate the situation because yes I think that they are both self-righteous and selfish in what they did.

" _After talking with Michael I've decided that I have to make a change in my life. I think that what I did with Christian may have allowed Michael to think that what he did was right and in a way that's what he told me. I can't ruin my brother's life the way that I have ruined mine so I'm going to counseling. Dr. Crosby has agreed to take me on after work hours for sessions every day. He's says that it will take some time to work through all of my 'issues' but as long as I remain serious about changing then it will happen."_

" _That's good John, I hope the best for you."_

" _You say that like you don't expect to see me again. I still plan to pursue you but not until I am better so the reason that I came by is to tell you that you won't see me for some time because other than work I will be in sessions with Dr. Crosby, except weekends of course. But even with the weekends I won't approach you until I am better. Will you wait for me?"_

" _No."_

" _Okay that's only fair. Will you give me a chance when I'm better."_

" _I don't know what the future holds John so I can't answer that but I will not wait for you to get better. I hope that you have a good life and work through all of your pain and confusion that has held you captive for so many years. I'm not interested in any romantic relationships and neither am I in to bed hopping. There are some changes that I too must change and so I will concentrate on those things. Plus I am helping Todd get things in order for his care of his son. I'm not providing the care just so you know but I am putting him in contact with agencies that can provide the services that he and the child may need."_

" _What about Blair, she's a mother, can't she take care of the boy?"_

" _Todd has finally come to his senses about Blair and will not have her as a part of his son's life. For reasons that I'm not at liberty to divulge Todd wants to make a change and Blair is not part of that change. He will share custody with her of Starr and Jack but Sam, that's what he named his son; will be in the sole custody of Todd. So with my job and helping Todd my hands are full."_

" _Well although you said no to waiting for me you did not say no to giving me a chance when I'm better so I will take that as a 'maybe'. I won't give up on us Evangeline. I did that once before and it was the worst thing that I have ever done in my life."_

" _Good night John I am really tired and need my rest."_

" _Good night Evangeline."_

He leaves and I return to my book for a few hours and then head to bed. If he had put as much thought into us when we were together as he is doing now we might still be together but he didn't and we are not. Let me go to sleep and forget about this.

Months later Todd, Sam, Starr and Jack are making themselves a family. Blair still tries to insinuate herself in Todd's life but he holds fast to his resolve and that annoys her. She even had the nerve to accuse me of influencing Todd to keep her out of his life. Why would I do that I asked her. She said so that I could have Todd for myself. I said to her that I had not thought of pursuing Todd but since she mentioned it maybe that's a possibility. She was none too happy. I will not pursue Todd. We are friends and that is all. I'd rather have his friendship than anything else. Friendship with him is more precious to me than trying to be his lover.

The thing that Todd told me some time ago about why he stayed with Blair and why he now has to stay away from Blair was very illuminating. Todd saw himself as worthless. For all of his braggadocio he thought that since he was a rapist that no decent woman would want him and since Blair seemed to want him he thought that she was his only option. But when he and I were on the cusp of having a romantic relationship he realized that he was worth so much more than he ever gave himself credit for because if I could love him then that meant that he was worth something. My friend is worth so much to me and I try to show him that every day and to boost his morale and confidence. So if he wants to eliminate Blair from his daily life then I will help him all that I can.

During these months, true to his word I do not see John but each day he sends notes to me telling me about his day and how things progress with his therapy. Also once a week I receive a present from him like flowers, candies and even jewelry. Last week he sent to me a very pretty charm bracelet with two charms on it, one a scale of justice and the other a police badge. My work and Todd keep me extra busy so I really don't have much time to think about much of anything.

This weekend is all for me. Let me go for my run in the park that should perk up my spirits. At the end of my five-mile run I stop to rest on a park bench and up walks John or should I say up runs John. All of the time that I have known John I have never seen him out running. Yes I've seen him in the health club and I know that he goes to Rourke's boxing gym but I have never seen him out actually jogging or running. He sees me and stops.

" _Hello Evangeline are you finished running or are you just taking a rest?"_

" _No I'm finished. When did you start running John, is this something new?"_

" _Fairly new but I started a few months ago. I figured that I needed to add to my fitness regimen and running is good for the body. I like it. It's relaxing and sometimes I think while I run and other times I don't and I find that invigorating. So if you are finished would you care to have lunch with me I'm finished too?"_

" _I don't know it that's a good idea John."_

" _It is just lunch Evangeline I'm not asking you to marry me, not yet anyway."_

" _What do you mean not yet anyway John? You know how I feel about marriage."_

" _Well feelings can change Evangeline. What about lunch?"_

" _All right let me go home and shower and change and I'll meet you at Roadie's."_

" _Okay I'll meet you there in an hour."_

When I arrive home I think about John's response about marriage and wondered from where that came. He knows that I don't believe in marriage. Too many marriages end in divorce. Besides it wasn't like he was actually asking me to marry him, we aren't even dating. But why does one date but to find out if you are compatible with that person but compatible to do what, marry? Do I want to live the rest of my life alone or do I want to be a perpetual dater. Sounds a bit like bed hopping and I said that I would not do that. What do I want? I don't know. I want to fall in love but to what end. To fall in love with someone and that someone loves me and what do we do with that love? Do we just date or does our relationship move on to marriage and having a family? So what if fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? That means that fifty percent of marriages last. Why can't I be in that positive fifty percent? Seems to me that I need an attitude adjustment. Let me think about this. Look at the time I need to shower, change and get out of here if I expect to arrive for lunch on time.

At Roadie's John already here waiting for me. I am hungry so we waste no time in ordering.

" _John, thank you for all of the presents and notes. It is really great that your therapy is progressing so well. How much longer do you expect to attend?"_

" _Dr. Crosby thinks that since solving my father's murder that resolved some of my issues but there are just a few more things that he thinks that I should confront. I'm glad that you asked me about therapy because I need to ask a favor of you."_

" _What is it John? How can I help you with your therapy?"_

" _Would you be amenable to attending the next session with me. One of the things that I must address is the failure of my relationship with you and it would help a great deal if you could attend the session with me."_

" _I don't know John this is your therapy why would I need to attend?"_

" _In order to move on from the guilt that I feel about the failure of our relationship I need to confront the reasons for that failure and I want you there when I confront them. Please come."_

" _All right John where and at what time?"_

" _The session will take place in Dr. Crosby's office at 6:00 p.m. on Monday."_

" _I will be there John. Do you want to play some pool?"_

" _Sure."_

I have no idea why I asked him to play pool. With intentions to leave right after lunch now I'm playing pool and on Monday will attend a therapy session with him. I feel like I'm in the _Godfather III_ movie when Michael Corleone says, 'Just when I think I'm out they pull me back in.' If my attending his therapy session will help him it would be mean of me not to attend. Now to the pool table where we tie in games won. Saying goodbye I head to Todd's for a visit with him and Sam.

Monday evening comes and here I sit in Dr. Crosby's office listening to John talk about the things that prevented him from committing to a relationship with me. My goodness how did he function carrying around all of that guilt? To find out that the night of his birthday party he told me that he was falling in love with me but found out that I was asleep while he was saying it and then he never said it again. Or that he kept Christian's secret not because he wanted Natalie but because Christian asked him and he felt that was the least he could do for all the harm he caused Christian by getting him involved in the sting operation that resulted in what we thought was Christian's death but in actuality was his kidnapping and brainwashing. But I still don't know why I am here.

" _Ms. Williamson although this is John's therapy session do you have anything to say or do you have any questions?"_

" _Yes Dr. Crosby I do. Why am I here? I understand that John has carried around a lot of guilt which prevented him from fully functioning but how do I fit in this, what do I have to do with any of this?"_

" _Ms. Williamson you are here because John wants you to know why he could not commit to you in the past and now that he has removed those impediments … Well I think it is better if he says it. John?"_

" _Evangeline I asked you here so that you can hear me admit to the things that kept me from you and have Dr. Crosby confirm that my release of those things now allow me to live freely without those impediments. I want a life with you Evangeline. I want to marry you. I love you."_

" _Why now John? I don't know if I can go through another failure with you."_

" _But we won't fail Evangeline. I now know what kept us apart and those things are no longer a part of my life. Can we try again?"_

" _This sounds all very clinical to me, 'impediments, fully functioning, release' what does this mean in layman's terms Dr. Crosby."_

" _To put it plainly Ms. Williamson, John was a cad and treated you badly because he didn't want to admit that he loved you more than anyone he had ever met and that scared him so he ran. He hid behind his so-called issues instead of facing you like a man. Now he's grown a set and wants you for himself because now he realizes the great mistake that he made when he treated you badly and lost you. Is that plain enough for you?"_

" _Is that true John?"_

" _Yes. I was a coward and for years I blamed my cowardice on my mental issues and now that I've handled those matters I'm ready to claim my life. I want a life with you."_

" _Well you've given me a lot to think about. Is the session over, may I leave now?"_

" _Yes you may leave Ms. Williamson but I think John will stay for a few more minutes he looks a bit put out that you didn't readily agree to a new relationship with him."_

" _Well we can't always get what we want now can we? Good night gentlemen."_

I leave and head to my apartment. Now that was quite an eye opener. How do I respond to all of that information?

Meanwhile back at Dr. Crosby's office.

" _What just happened? I thought that when she heard about all the guilt that held me back that she would agree that we could move forward. Was I wrong to think that we have a chance at a life together?"_

" _John be serious, you didn't really think that just like that she would welcome you with open arms. You hurt her badly and for everyone to see. She has not sat around waiting for you for as I understand she had a relationship with Christian Vega which seemed a bit odd to me seeing as he was the ex-husband of the woman that was between you and her when you two were seeing each other. Maybe she needs some counseling too but that's another matter. What I find interesting and should be encouraging to you is that she did not reject your offer totally. She said that we gave her 'a lot to think about' so she just may consider your offer but my suggestion is that you not allow her to think too long about it because that is not in your favor. Show her the new you. Take her out on dates and do things that she likes. Show her that she is important to you now. Time is running out for you John. Ms. Williamson is a lovely woman and she would be good for you. From what you said about your relationship she wanted what was best for you even if that meant without her. Show her that she is best for you. Any questions John?"_

" _No Dr. Crosby I have somewhere to go. Good night. I will see you tomorrow."_

" _All right John, go forth and conquer."_

John heads straight for Evangeline's apartment. As soon as he knocks on the door she's there to open it.

" _I knew that you would come. Come in and sit down."_

" _How did you know that I would come because I didn't even know it."_

" _You're a bit predictable to me now John. You want to know why I didn't take your offer of another chance once I knew all of the reasons why we didn't make it the first time. Many things have changed since then John. I have changed and what I want has changed. I want someone to fall in love with me and I want to fall in love with him. But then I ask myself how does that happen if I don't put myself out there for that to happen. I'm scared John. I'm scared of being hurt again. RJ hurt me, you hurt me, Christian hurt me and I'm a bit gun shy. No one can promise me that I won't be hurt again I know that but I'm still scared. Hearing you talk this evening I know now that you were scared of love and that prevented you from committing and I don't want to do what you did John. I don't want love to pass me by because I was scared."_

" _But I'm not scared anymore Evangeline. I offer you myself fully and freely. I love you. I want you to love me. I will do whatever you want me to do to make that happen. Just tell me what I have to do."_

" _That's just it John I don't know. But I do know that I want to feel love again. Once you made me feel. I remember saying to you that when you take me in your arms you make me forget about the rest of the world. I want that feeling John. I want to feel passion, not just lust, but passion. I want to make love, not just have sex. I want to know what it feels like to join physically with someone, to make love to someone who loves me, Evangeline Williamson, a woman imperfect but striving for perfection, a woman who has made mistakes, a woman who doesn't give her heart easily, a woman who loves hard and long, a real woman, not a woman put on a pedestal but a real woman."_

" _I want to be the one that you love Evangeline. Me, John McBain, a man of many faults but one who owns up to those faults and who works to eliminate those faults, a man who has lost love but wants to feel love again freely, a man who sees a woman for the person that she is and strives to be and will help her to reach her goals, a man who will give his heart to the woman that he loves, and a man who asks for the chance with the woman of his dreams so that they can make each other's dreams a reality."_

We sit there just looking at each other. After all that we've said to each other and all that was discussed at Dr. Crosby's office it comes to this moment. I know in my heart that I want to love again. I want a life with love in it. John and I changed in the years that we have been apart, some good changes and some bad changes. He's making an effort to do better and I admire him for that. I loved him once can I again? At least with him it's not starting from scratch it's more like chapter two. If we both go into this with the goal of marriage then we know that we have to work hard to make it work where as before we were just going along for the ride. This will be different.

" _John I know in my heart that I want to love again. We've both changed since our last time together and so I am sure we won't make the same mistakes. If we both go into this relationship with an agreed upon goal of marriage then we know that we have to work hard to make this succeed. You do still want to marry me right?"_

" _Yes I do. Are you saying that you are willing to give me, give us a chance to have a relationship that leads to marriage? Not just dating but doing things together to feel comfortable again with each other to prepare us for marriage is that what you are agreeing to do?"_

" _Are you willing to put in the time and effort to make this work John? You do realize that not everyone will be happy about this. So are you ready to take on the world?"_

" _If it is you and me against the world then yes I am? Evangeline you will not regret this I promise."_

" _Don't promise John, just do."_

" _I will Evangeline. I will do what I said. You will not regret giving me another chance. What's the old saying,_ _ **if at first you don't succeed**_ _, try, try again. Here we go Evangeline, trying again. But not just trying, we will succeed. Be prepared to soon respond to my proposal. You will marry me Evangeline Williamson. You will be my wife."_

 **A/N:** The stories in this collection are based upon actual scenes from the _One Life to Live_ television series but with added scenes provided by this writer. Enjoy the read and do leave a review.


	13. Chapter 13 Intentions

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Author's Note: Just a reminder that all of the stories in this collection are based upon actual scenes from the** _ **One Life to Life**_ **television series involving the characters Evangeline Williamson and John McBain. This writer has added a few embellishments to the scenes. The chapters in this collection represent those scenes but are not in any particular order. ENJOY!**

 **Chapter 13 Intentions**

Stopping at the police station to collect a file before meeting Nora for lunch one of the officers graciously assists me. While waiting for his return Natalie starts jabbering about some nonsense so I'm not paying much attention to her until I hear her say,

" _Gee she does shut up."_

Turning around I face her and respond,

" _My relationship with John was one based on mutual respect and I didn't have to bat an eye or set myself up to be decapitated to get his attention."_

At that point she raises her hand to slap me and I catch her arm as she raises it and look her in the eye and say,

" _You don't want this little girl."_

She struggles to release her arm and by then the officer returns and then Commissioner Buchanan comes out of his office and asks what happened. Natalie responded that I said something to upset her. Bo then looks at me and before he can say anything the officer speaks up,

" _Commissioner, Ms. Williamson did nothing wrong. She was simply talking with Mrs. Vega when Mrs. Vega tried to slap Ms. Williamson. Ms. Williamson caught Mrs. Vega's arm before she could slap her. Ms. Williamson was defending herself."_

" _Well I won't have any altercations in my police station."_

" _Commissioner Buchanan is that all you have to say? Your officer informs you that one of your staff attempted to assault an attorney here in 'your' police station and all you have to say is that you won't have any altercations here. Will Mrs. Vega receive any reprimand for her actions?"_

" _Ms. Williamson, Mrs. Vega said that you provoked her."_

" _Your own officer refuted her claim Commissioner. Well if you will not reprimand her then in order to protect myself from any future attacks from her I must exercise my legal rights in this matter. I want to press charges against Mrs. Vega for assault. Officer if you provide me with the necessary forms and enforce these charges."_

" _Evangeline are you serious? Do you really want to press this matter? Everyone knows that there is bad blood between the two of you so do you think that pressing charges will help the issue."_

" _Commissioner Buchanan at this moment I refuse to address this matter with you. It seems as if I must speak with the District Attorney about this matter. I am meeting her for lunch in a few minutes. Now I am waiting for you or someone to arrest Mrs. Vega for attempted assault."_

" _All right have it your way Evangeline but I think that you are making a mistake. Officer Cerutti arrest Mrs. Vega."_

" _Yes Sir."_

Officer Cerutti takes Natalie down to book her for assault. Once she's escorted out of the area Bo asks to speak with me privately.

" _Commissioner Buchanan I respectfully decline to have any further conversation with you at this time. It would not be beneficial to either of us. As I previously stated I have a previously scheduled meeting that I must attend. Goodbye."_

I leave him standing there in front of his office. Not believing the stupidity of that entire scene I arrive at the Palace and find Nora already seated at a table. She's talking on her phone and I know that she's talking with Bo. I wait for her to finish her conversation.

" _So I hear that you caused a ruckus at the station. Bo thinks that you overreacted."_

" _Did he tell you that his niece tried to slap me?"_

" _Yes he did but he also said that she claimed that you provoked her. Not that it makes it difference if you did because any physical response to a verbal is inappropriate. Do you really want to continue with these charges?"_

" _Not you too Nora. She works in a police station and someone says something to her and her response is to physically attack the person. Why aren't you in an uproar about that? Forget that I was the person in question a police station is a volatile arena. Suppose that she does that to someone else the city could have a civil suit on their hands as well as a criminal case against Natalie. Everybody coddles her and so she thinks that she can say and do whatever she wants. Do you remember when she slapped Jen Rappaport? Jen should have filed charges against her then."_

" _Yes I remember that about her and Jen but are you sure you want to proceed with this? What does John say about all of this?"_

" _Why would John say anything about this. It has nothing to do with him. Although our conversation was about my relationship with John it was not about him specifically so he has no say in this case."_

" _Oh my goodness, she's here. Bo must have let her out. Don't say anything to her let me handle this."_

" _No I won't do that Nora. If she confronts me again I will defend myself."_

" _Evangeline you do not want to have a scuffle with Natalie here in the Palace. You are an officer of the court and you will have more to lose than she will. Let me handle this."_

The waiter is standing at our table refilling our water glasses when Natalie comes up and pushes him out of the way. She starts yelling at me about having her arrested and that I won't get away with it and once again she raises her hand to slap me but before she can make contact the waiter grabs her hand and bends it behind her back. A police officer was having lunch there with a friend and witnessed this altercation came up to assist the waiter. The restaurant manager came up and asked the officer to remove Mrs. Vega. The officer asked me if I wanted to press charges and looking at Nora and then at the officer I say, _"Yes, I will meet you at the station to file the paperwork."_

" _Now you see the monster that all the coddling has created. She tried to assault me in a public place. Evidently Bo didn't arrest her as he instructed Officer Cerutti to do. Probably as soon as I left he ran down to booking and told them to cancel her arrest. You're the District Attorney Nora what do you plan to do about this?"_

" _I agree with you Evangeline she has gotten out of hand. Don't worry about Bo I will handle him. She will be arrested for real this time I will see to it. As for Bo I will try to explain to him that he is not helping his niece by bailing her out of every predicaments she creates for herself. Come on let's go the station and finish this."_

We make it to the station and the room is buzzing with the news of Natalie's misbehavior. Upon seeing me enter the room all talking stops. Nora continues on to Bo's office and I stop to complete the paperwork, once again, with Officer Cerutti. He apologizes for not following through initially and I assure him that I understand that he was following orders and I can't fault him for that.

Upon completion of the paperwork I ask Officer Cerutti to inform DA Hannan that I will return to my office and she can reach me there. Upon exiting the room I bump into entering the room.

" _Hi Evangeline are you just leaving?"_

" _Yes I am I have a lot of work to do. Excuse me. Goodbye."_

" _Can we talk?"_

" _There's nothing to talk about John. Bye."_

I leave and return to my office glad to get away from that crazy scene at the station. I know that he will soon hear about what happened between Natalie and me and will want to talk about it but I don't want to talk with him about that. He's part of the reason that she acts the way that she does. Always running to her rescue from troubles that she caused herself to have. No I don't want to talk to him. In a way I'm glad for all of this work that I have because it keeps my mind off of thinking about the mess between John and me.

Hours later and many files done I call it a day. I have not heard from Nora so I take that as good news. Now for a hot shower and some food. Sitting on my sofa with a nice cup of tea I clear my mind of all the mess of the day. The calm envelops me and now it is time for bed. Then I hear a knock at my door. Who's visiting me at this time of night? Nora would have called so it's not her. Oh good grief don't tell me that Natalie is crazy enough to come to my home to harass me. She's just asking for more trouble. Going to the door I ask who it is.

" _Evangeline it's me John. May I come in?"_

Not wanting to have this conversation in the hallway I open the door and allow him to enter. I do not invite him to sit because I do not want him to stay long.

" _I heard about what happened today between you and Natalie. Are you all right?"_

" _Yes I am fine John but that was hours ago why are you here now."_

" _I didn't come earlier because I was working on a report that was due today. I started to call you several times but I wanted to see with my own eyes that you are okay."_

" _Now that you've seen me you can leave."_

" _I still want you Evangeline. Can we try again?"_

" _What will be different this time John. Natalie is still ever present and you are always going to her whenever she calls. I can't go through that again. I won't go through that again."_

" _Natalie is no longer an issue. After hearing what she did to you today I went to her and told her that I will no longer come to her rescue. She's out on bail, as you probably already know. I told her that although she and I may be friends I am not the only person who can help her. She has family in this town that she can call._ _I told her that with my job and private life I don't have time for her. She asked me what private life and I told her my life with you."_

" _You don't have a life with me John. You told Natalie that you love her so go be with the one you love."_

" _Evangeline I am not in love with Natalie. I told her that and I told you that but neither of you want to believe me. What do I have to do to convince you?"_

" _Make up your mind who you want John. Stop flitting back and forth between us like a darn bumblebee. I told you that if you want her go to her and leave me alone_ _ **BUT**_ _if you want me then commit to me. I have to be your priority. If she calls you and we are together doing something you can't just stop and leave me to wait for you to return from rescuing her. You have done that so many times."_

" _I know that I have and my flitting days are over. You need to know what else I told her. When I heard that she tried to hit you not once but twice I told her that she won't get a third opportunity and to stay away from you. She said that I can't prevent her from approaching you and I told her that she was wrong. I told her that I would file a restraining order against her to stay away from me. She asked me how that would prevent her from getting to you. I told her that I would always be with you so that if she came after you she would be in violation of my restraining order. Of course you can always file a restraining order against her yourself but either way she will not harm you again."_

" _John I'm not afraid of Natalie. If she comes after me I assure you that I will not be the one who is hurt by the encounter."_

" _Whoa! I'm afraid of you big bad one."_

" _I'm not kidding John. If Bo does not rein in his niece I will have to take this up with the Civil Service Board. Her actions are inappropriate for a civil servant. There were witnesses of both occurrences and both police officers. Their statements are now a matter of record. And furthermore, although I did not say this to Bo or Nora at the time, if he allows her to continue doing this it will put his job in jeopardy. He is the Police Commissioner after all and allowing such behavior in his staff does not speak well for his ability to command. I don't care if she is his niece. That is no excuse. He should have arrested her the first time as he said he would and we would have been spared the second incident. Now although she got away with a misdemeanor charge of assault should she attempt again and actually touch me then she has a felony charge of battery. I don't anticipate a repeat attempt but the girl is not working 'with a full deck'. She has entitlement issues. She thinks that she's entitled to do whatever she wants. So far most people have allowed her to do just that but I will no longer be one of those persons. Now I will say this to you so there is no confusion. I have a right to defend myself against harm. Natalie has made it abundantly clear that she intends to harm me so I have to be prepared to defend myself."_

" _Okay don't tell me anymore. The less I know the better should something happen. Now you didn't say anything in response to my saying that I will be with you all of the time."_

" _What do you expect me to say John you were just speaking hypothetically I assume. I'm tired and can't think right now so you have to go."_

" _All right I won't press you on the matter but I will talk with you tomorrow if that is okay with you."_

" _I have a full schedule in court tomorrow John so I don't see that I will have any time for you."_

" _Call me when you can then. Will you do that?"_

" _Maybe that's all that I can give you now go."_

" _Good night."_

He leaves and then my phone rings and I move to answer and forget to lock the door. With the phone in my hand I turn around and in my doorway stands Natalie. She rushes me and I drop the phone on the sofa but did not hang up.

" _Natalie what are you doing here haven't you done enough harm for one day?"_

" _I just saw John leaving. Are you two back together? He doesn't love you. He told me that he loves me. Why can't you leave us alone? He doesn't want you."_

" _Natalie why are you here? What are your_ _ **intentions**_ _? Why don't you just leave and go home? This will not end well for you."_

" _What are you going to do? There's no one here to come to your rescue like in the police station or at the Palace. It's just you and me. I grew up in the streets of Atlantic City and you grew up in you cushy neighborhood you don't know how to fight for what you want but I do. You can't have John he belongs to me."_

" _If he belongs to you then go to him and leave me alone."_

" _But he wants you, he told me that he doesn't want me but you probably told him to say that. With you out of the picture then he will be all mine."_

" _What do you mean with me out of the picture? John and I are not together so you have a clear road to him so go get him."_

" _You're not listening to me. He said that he wants you but if I get rid of you then he will only have me as a choice and then I win."_

" _What is this some kind of game for you. John is not a prize to win or lose. He is a human being who has the right to make his own choices."_

" _Oh that's easy for you to say when he chooses you. No I need to get rid of you and then he has not choice but me."_

" _And just how do you plan to get rid of me Natalie?"_

All of this time I'm trying to keep Natalie talking. It was Nora who called and since I did not hang up I hope that she is listening and contacting the authorities.

" _With this."_

Natalie then pulls out a gun from her purse. She's looking at it as if mesmerized. I stand still so as not to alarm her with any sudden movement. The appearance of the gun has taken this from a nuisance case to one of mortal danger. So as to alert Nora to the drastic turn this matter has taken I say in a raised voice,

" _Natalie why do you have a gun? What do you plan to do with it?"_

" _I will get rid of you. After you're gone then John will move on with me like he did when he moved on with you after Caitlin. All the time that I was chasing him and trying to get his attention I know that he wanted you. I was offering myself to him at every turn but he wouldn't leave you. You left him but he still wants you. With you gone then he will be all mine. I'm not crazy I know exactly what I'm doing. I have everyone taking up for me. You did see how Uncle Bo ran to my defense at the station. I can tell them anything and they believe. I play the innocent and they believe me, even John, but he still won't leave you."_

Nora come on I cannot keep her talking forever. Someone has to be on the way by now. The door is still open so they will have clear access to capture her. Hurry up somebody.

" _Did you hear me Evangeline it's time to go."_

" _To go where Natalie? Where do you plan to take me?"_

" _Some place secret and no one will ever find you. Come on we need to leave now."_

" _Let me at least put on some clothes Natalie. I'm not dressed to go outside."_

" _Don't worry about clothes you won't be alive long enough to need clothes so come on and stop stalling."_

Well it doesn't look like anybody is coming to my rescue. One thing I do know is that I am not leaving here with Natalie. One of us will not make it out of my apartment. Making up my mind to fight to the death I start toward her when I see movement behind her and then officers rush in and grab her from behind. In the scuffle the gun goes off and the bullet shatters my lamp. Tackling her to the floor they remove the gun from her hand and pulls her hands behind her back to handcuff her. They remove her from my apartment and ask if I need a ride to the police station, then I hear,

" _No she won't need a ride I will bring her to the station."_

In walks John. He rushes to me and hugs me so tight. Then his phone rings. I can't believe this. Why does his phone ring every time. He pulls it out and hands it to me.

" _Evangeline are you all right! Oh my goodness I can't believe that this happened! I heard everything and called the police as soon as I realized what was happening. I'm calling from my house phone because I still have you on my cell phone that's how I knew that John had arrived. He heard my call to the police station on his scanner and came back to your apartment just as the other officers arrived. I called him and asked him not to do the arrest but allow the other officers to do it so that no one can argue preferential treatment. I continued to listen in on my cell and when I heard his voice I called his cell from my house phone. I will meet you at the station and then I think that you need to go to the hospital and make sure that you are all right. Natalie may not have physically injured you but I want you to speak with someone at the hospital tonight. Don't tell me no because I will take you there myself. I'm calling Dr. Jamison as I drive to the station. Now go to the station with John and I will see you there."_

" _Nora I won't argue with you about any of this. Thank you for saving my life. I will see you at the station."_

John and I make it to the station and the officers have Natalie in booking once again. This time she won't walk out after a few hours. The seriousness of this case cannot be ignored. One thing that Nora had the foresight to do while all of this was happening was to tape the conversation. Natalie won't be able to deny anything that happened. Felony attempted kidnapping and assault and battery with a deadly weapon are the charges. Nora arranges an emergency hearing with one of my favorite judges who orders no bail and Natalie to stay in jail until the trial that is set for two weeks.

Nora does take me to the hospital and I meet with Dr. Jamison for several hours. By the time that I leave it is early morning and I am completed exhausted. Dr. Jamison advises that I meet with him some time next week for a follow up session and I agree. Nora takes me back home and offers to stay with me the night but I tell her that I will be fine and she leaves. No sooner than she leaves but someone else shows up at my door. I expected no less of him so I let him enter.

" _I am so sorry that this happened to you. Somehow I feel a bit responsible but don't worry I won't add that to my list of guilt that I carry around on a daily basis. That was all Natalie. She would not take no for an answer and tried to make things turn out the way that she wanted. What can I do to help you?"_

" _Can you stay here tonight? I feel a little vulnerable. You can sleep on the couch okay. I'll get bedding for you and some towels for you to shower. I think that I have some of your clothes that you left here that you could use for the night. You can put your dirty clothes in the washer. You know where everything is. I'm going to bed. Thank you John. Goodnight."_

" _Goodnight Evangeline. Get some rest. I'll be here when you wake in the morning."_

" _You usually leave before I do so how will you be here when I wake up?"_

" _I told Bo that if you needed me that I would be there for you so I put in for leave for a few days."_

" _Oh."_

" _Go to sleep. I'll see you in a few hours."_

I go to my room, shower and hop in the bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow I am asleep. The next morning I wake to the smell of fresh coffee, toast, eggs and sausage. That's the breakfast that John would always cook for me whenever he stayed over. I go to my bathroom for my daily constitution and then throw on my robe and head for the kitchen. He's there dressed and putting the food on the plate. He evidently heard me approach.

" _How are you feeling this morning? Come on let's eat you'll feel a lot better with a full stomach."_

We eat and don't talk. I just look at him. After a few minutes I guess my staring confuses him and he says,

" _What's up, do I have something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that?"_

" _I could get used to this."_

" _Get used to what?"_

" _Waking up every day to you cooking me breakfast and the two of us sitting and eating together."_

" _Really!"_

" _Yes, really. John I'm tired of fighting my feelings for you but I need to tell you something and I need to ask something before I decide to let go of these feelings or give in to them."_

" _Ask away."_

" _What do you want from me and where do you see a relationship with me going?"_

" _That's fair enough. First what I want from you is your love and where I see our relationship going is marriage."_

" _But John you know how I feel about marriage. Most of them end in divorce."_

" _But what's the alternative Evangeline, endless years of dating or living together without marriage. I can't do either one."_

" _I can understand that. You probably want a life like your parents had and that's only reasonable. Now what I want to tell you is …"_

" _Wait Evangeline I have to tell you something first, I love you and more than I knew before tonight. When I heard the call about Natalie holding you at gunpoint my heart felt like it shattered. I don't know what I would have done if you had not made it. I know grief. I felt that when Caitlin died but if Natalie had killed you I don't know if I could have survived that. You hold my heart captive Evangeline. Will you marry me today?"_

" _Are you crazy where can we get married today?"_

" _We can fly to Las Vegas and get married today and then come back and have a traditional wedding and reception."_

" _I'm only getting married once and I don't want a tacky Las Vegas ceremony."_

" _So you will marry then? Will you marry me and if so when?"_

" _When is the earliest we can get married here in Llanview?"_

" _Three days."_

" _The trial is in two weeks so that gives us time to get married before then."_

" _People will think that you're crazy to marry me and will wonder what's the rush."_

" _I almost died last night. When Natalie pulled out that gun I resolved to fight her to the death. I was not leaving my apartment with her. My life starts again today and I know what and whom I want. Now McBain get on the phone and make things happen. I will make my calls and we will compare notes in a few hours. You might want to go to your apartment and get some clothes because you will sleep on my sofa until the night before our wedding. I'm not taking any chances on you to come up missing on our wedding day. Now get busy."_

" _Yes ma'am. I'll go to my apartment now and get some things. I'll come right back."_

" _Do that."_

" _I am to infer that since I'm sleeping on the couch that we will not make love until the wedding night?"_

" _Yes you are correct. We made that mistake the first go around we won't make it now."_

" _I agree with you on that. See you in a few."_

It is amazing what you can do in such a short time when you are determined. After John returned we went to the courthouse for the license. One of the clerks informed us that the waiting period was reduced from three days to two days. Everyone makes it in on time. The ceremony is beautiful, my dress is beautiful, John is handsome and everyone has fun. We decide to delay the honeymoon until after the trial but we do spend our wedding night in the bridal suite at the Palace compliments of the management. Renee Buchanan was so horrified at what Natalie did that she gave for free the reception and the honeymoon suite. Natalie's evil **intentions** failed and now John and I look forward to a happy life together.


	14. Chapter 14 What you didn't say

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 14 What you didn't say**

John leaves Evangeline asleep in his bed and goes to the police station.

'My goodness I didn't realize that I was that tired. Where's John, oh he must have gone to the station. Well let me take a shower and get back to my apartment and change and go to my office to get some work done. That shower felt good so now I can get dressed. My clothes are hanging up in John's closet. I really need to hurry. Oops I knocked down one of John's boxes. What is this?'

Recognizing the report I read it and find that it is the DNA results for the John Doe who claimed to be Christian Vega. The report reveals that he is Christian Vega.

'I can't believe this. John has known all of this time that the man in prison for killing Tico Santi is the real Christian Vega. Why didn't he tell anyone? Of course he didn't say anything because of Natalie. What a fool I have been telling this man that I love him when all along he has known that Natalie's husband is locked in a maximum-security prison. Where is my phone so that I can take pictures of this report and return it to the box and put the box back on the shelf? Since John didn't see fit to tell me the results of the DNA test then I won't tell him that I know the results. Let me get out of here.'

I get dressed and make it out of John's apartment before he returns. Driving in my car so many thoughts run through my head and I know what I must do. Arriving at my office I call the prison and request a meeting with John Doe. The warden readily agrees and I drive there in haste. Upon arrival I make my way to the meeting room and wait for John Doe, really Christian Vega, to arrive. Taking the phone I say to him,

" _I don't know you very well Mr. Vega but it does not make since to spend your life behind bars when it can be avoided."_

" _So you know who I am. Why did McBain tell you? I asked him not to tell anyone. I want Natalie to live a life not waiting for me. He promised that he would not tell her."_

" _Natalie doesn't know your true identity Mr. Vega and it is very gallant of you to wish to spare her but your loyalty might be misplaced."_

" _Why are you here Ms. Williamson? Aren't you involved with John and won't this visit negatively affect your relationship. Natalie is friends with him I know and may even be interested in him. Are you here to free me so that she is no longer a hindrance in your relationship with John?"_

" _Mr. Vega we don't know each other. I never stoop to fight over a man. If he wants to be with me then he's with me. If he wants to be with someone else then he's free to go. I will continue to survive without him. I'm here to help you gain your freedom if that's what you want. No one, I mean no one is worth spending the rest of your life behind bars. And anyway if you know that your wife is interested in another man why would you sacrifice your life for her? That makes no sense."_

" _You may be right Ms. Williamson but how can you help me? I confessed to killing Tico Santi how does you knowing who I am change that?"_

" _It changes a lot Mr. Vega. When you killed Mr. Santi did you know at the time that you were Christian Vega?"_

" _No I did not. My memory only recently returned. How can that help me now."_

" _You claimed that you were brainwashed Mr. Vega and if we can prove that then the court may overturn your conviction and vacate your sentence. This will be expensive. Do you have any resources?_

" _No I don't but my brother Antonio will help me. You can go to him but he can't tell my mother until I am cleared. I don't want her to get her hopes up. And I still don't want Natalie to know until I'm cleared."_

" _That's your choice Mr. Vega. I will talk with Antonio and gain his assistance in this matter and swear him to secrecy. You also should not tell anyone that I am trying to free you. Whoever brainwashed you may still have you under surveillance. Just explain my visit as one of gathering information for another case. Do not inform John that I know about your true identity."_

" _Why shouldn't I tell John that you know? Didn't he tell you who I am and that is why you are here?_

" _I won't lie to you Mr. Vega, no John did not tell me about you. I had my own ways of getting the information. Will you do as I say and keep this to yourself?"_

" _Yes I will Ms. Williamson. Thank you for helping me. Will you come again to visit me?"_

" _I don't think that would be wise it may cause too many questions. Tell me all that you remember I will take notes and go from there."_

We sit and he tells me everything that he remembers. I take my notes and make some additional suggestions to him on how to handle his time in prison. Leaving I feel sorry for him but glad that he trusts me. On the drive back to Llanview I have time to develop a strategy on how to handle his case. First I need to meet with Antonio so I call him and he agrees to meet me this evening.

On arrival at my office my secretary informs me that Lt. McBain stopped by to see me. I laugh to myself, 'I just bet he did'. Antonio arrives and I instruct my secretary to hold all of my calls and not to let anyone in while I meet with Antonio. I tell Antonio that his brother Christian is alive and is the John Doe in prison. I do not tell him how I found out but instead tell him that I guessed it and went to confront the John Doe in prison and he confirmed that he is Christian Vega and asks that Antonio help him. I explain to Antonio that he cannot visit Christian because that would draw attention to his true identity and until we find out who brainwashed Christian it is better if everyone continues to think that he is an imposter. Antonio agrees with all of my suggestions and tells me that he will release whatever funds needed to clear his brother. I tell him that I will put my private investigator (PI) on the case as soon as the funds are available. He calls his bank at that time and has an account set up and he will pick up the card affiliated with that account and bring it back for me to use and the checkbook. He leaves and thirty minutes later returns with all that I need. Contacting my PI he gets right on the case and stops by to pick up the card and cash and says that he will let me know how he progresses. Antonio seems satisfied and leaves.

With that out of the way I work on my other cases. My secretary leaves for the day and I stay to finish up some files. Hearing a knock at my office door I ask who it is. I already know that it is one John McBain. He hasn't seen me all day and the last time that he saw me I was in his bed asleep. He probably wants to know if I'm coming to his apartment tonight. Not wanting to see him but knowing that if I don't he will get suspicious I have a story all ready to tell him why I won't be available for the next several weeks.

" _Who is it?"_

" _It's John Evangeline. Open the door."_

My door is locked when I'm alone on the floor so I go and unlock it and allow him to enter. Acting like nothing is wrong I wait for him to start the conversation.

" _Why are you working so late? Did you get any of my messages and did your secretary tell you that I stopped by?"_

" _John I've been up to my neck in files and work all day. Didn't have time to reply. What brings you this way tonight."_

" _I thought that we might pick up some dinner and go back to my place."_

" _John today has been a whirlwind for me and I just got this new case that will take up my time for the next few weeks so I don't think that you will see much of me until I finish it."_

" _Wow what is it, maybe I can help you with it?"_

" _John thanks for the offer but I think that I have everything covered. I really do need to get back to work so if you will excuse me."_

" _Okay I know how it is to have a tough case so I will let you get back to it. Can I call you tomorrow and maybe we can do lunch?"_

" _I don't think so John. Like I said I will be very busy for the foreseeable future. When I get a break maybe I can call you, what about that?"_

" _If that's all I going to get I guess it will have to do. Bye."_

" _Bye John."_

He leaves and I lock the door behind him. I hope that he hears me locking the door. Working late into the night I do make progress on my other cases and after a few more hours head home.

It takes two months to get everything settled. My PI finds that Carlo Hesser is the mastermind behind Christian's kidnapping and brainwashing. When the court becomes aware of the injustice done to Christian Vega they readily overturn his conviction and vacate his sentence. It is front-page news in both the Banner and the Sun newspapers. Antonio goes to get his brother from the prison and takes him home for a reunion with his mother. I decline to attend and instead go home and open my own bottle of champagne for a job well done. After so many weeks of burning the candle by both ends finally I sleep peacefully through the night.

In the morning I wake to a bright sunny day and decide to go for a run. The run invigorates me and I return to my apartment, shower, dress and prepare to head to my office to start another day. Opening my apartment door to leave I run right into John.

" _Going somewhere?"_

" _Yes John I'm going to work so if you will excuse me I need to go?"_

" _May I talk with you for a moment?"_

" _I guess that I can delay my departure. Come on in. What do you want to talk about John?"_

" _When did you find out that John Doe was the real Christian Vega?"_

" _What difference does it make now John?"_

" _I just want to know if that is why you haven't spoken to me in over two months. That was the case you were working on when I stopped by your office and you said that you would be busy for the foreseeable future. Why didn't you tell me?"_

" _Why would I tell you John you already knew who he was?"_

At that moment he looks at me shocked. He now realizes that I know that he knew all along that John Doe was the real Christian Vega.

' _I didn't tell you because he asked me not to tell anyone. I wasn't trying to keep it from you I was just doing what he asked. It wasn't my secret to tell."_

" _John come on you don't really expect anyone to buy that c*** that you're selling do you? 'It wasn't your secret to tell', give us a break. You are an officer of the court and you withheld vital evidence in a case that sent a man to prison. You had an obligation to tell the truth which you did not. Technically the district attorney could bring you up on charge of obstruction of justice but now that Christian is free what's the use. Justice has now been served but with no help from you."_

" _So what does that mean for us? Have you been avoiding me because I didn't tell you about Christian?"_

" _Tell me this John if I had kept such a secret from you how would you react? Would you stay with me knowing that you cannot trust me?"_

" _I can't answer that Evangeline. If you didn't tell me something I would figure that you had a good reason not to tell me. As to whether I would remain in a relationship with you I think that I would because I want to be with you."_

" _Why because you like the sex or because you want to be with me?_

" _I am not with you for the sex Evangeline. I want to be with you."_

" _But I don't believe you John._ _ **What you didn't say**_ _about Christian was like lying to me and I can't stand liars. I don't want to be with someone who lies to me and I can't trust. You've lost my trust John and in my gut I think that you kept Christian's secret because it gave you a clear shot to Natalie. I'm not saying that you would have acted on it or not but it was like an ace in your pocket. That way you didn't have to decide to stay with me because you had Natalie as an option. I don't play seconds to anyone. I told you before John when Christian confessed to killing Tico that if you want her instead of me then go to her. You weren't honest with me and you haven't been honest to me since you received those DNA test results. So let's spare each other any more of these scenes. I don't trust you John and I don't want to be with you. There is no longer any 'us'. We ended when you chose to lie to me. Goodbye John."_

I walk him to and out the door and do not give him the time to respond. I make it to my office and start my workday with that weight off my shoulders. Who says all is fair in love is wrong. Love is not fair sometimes but I am glad that I found out that this love was not true before I reached the point of no return.


	15. Chapter 15 The Plain Truth

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 15 The Plain Truth**

Why is the kidnapper having us to put on these uniforms? What does cheerleading uniforms have to do with anything and where is he taking us? Darn he has tied my hands behind my back and that will make it difficult for me to untie the knots. I smell it already, the chloroform. Here he comes.

Coming to I'm in a gymnasium tied to a basketball pole and a fire is starting to blaze around my feet. What kind of sick, perverted and deranged scene is this? I have to untie myself and get out of here. I see Natalie at the other basketball pole but she doesn't look like she's fighting to get loose. Maybe she's not shaken off the chloroform yet. I don't see the kidnapper so perhaps he just left us here to burn up. I keep trying to get my hands loose. The rope is giving a bit so I have to continue to put pressure on it and then ease my hands out of the noose. Concentrating on loosening the knot I don't notice until the last minute that someone is opening the door to the gym. I hope that it is not the kidnapper returning. It is John! He looks at me and then turns and looks at Natalie and then runs over to her to release her from the pole and put her on the floor and then returns to release me and puts me on the floor. He then returns to check on Natalie. By that time I have released my hands from the noose and untied the rope around my feet.

Thankful that I am free from the pole and the fire I start to stand when I notice someone moving in from the shadows. It's the kidnapper and he heads toward John who's still working on Natalie. John has his body turned away and cannot see the kidnapper approaching him. Turning quickly I pick up a log from the fire and rush with it toward the kidnapper and hit him with it. The blow causes him to drop his gun but then he rushes towards me. Seeing his gun at my feet I pick it up and shoot at him hitting him in the shoulder and both of his knees. I don't want to kill him I just want him to stop coming toward me. The shots to his knees cause him to fall backwards and by that time John has regained his wits and handcuffs the kidnapper.

The gym quickly fills with more police officers and EMTs. The EMTs check Natalie, the kidnapper and me and transport us all to the hospital. Once they check me over at the hospital I have to stay overnight so that they can give me oxygen to clear the smoke out of my lungs. All I really want is first a nice hot shower where I can shampoo my hair, then a soaking bath, some hot food and then a nice long sleep. I feel so dirty and tired. My mother is here with me and I am so glad to see her. I know that she has been so worried.

" _Mommy I'm so glad to see you. I know that you have been worried sick but I am okay now so don't worry any more."_

" _Evangeline I am your mother so I'm supposed to worry about you. Now just rest."_

" _Mom I want you to do something for me. I know that the police will want to interview me about the kidnapping as soon as they can but I don't want to talk with anyone just now okay."_

" _No one will bother you baby don't worry about that. Mommy will handle it."_

" _There's more Mom. I especially don't want John to interview me. Any other officer but John can you do that for me."_

" _Of course my dear. I will handle it. Now rest and ease your mind. I'm going out to make certain that you are not disturbed."_

" _Thank you mommy."_

Evidently my mother took care of everything because no one comes to my room to interview me until after I had a nice long nap. When the officer did come it is not John and for that I am relieved. Now it is morning and time for me to go home.

Arriving at home I get to do all of those things that I wanted to do when I was in the hospital so a shower, hair shampooed, bath, food and a good sleep I am ready to face another day. Mom and I are sitting on the sofa talking about much of nothing when someone knocks at my door. Mom answers the door and I can hear her trying to get the person to leave so I get up and go to the door and see John standing there.

" _Mom it's all right let John come in there are some things that I need to say to him anyway. Mom how about you go the store and get us some celebratory desserts. I've already ordered dinner delivery for later but I forgot dessert."_

" _Evangeline are you sure you want me to leave you here with him? I can stay until he leaves."_

" _No Mom that's not necessary because I do want some dessert. I'm not just trying to get you to leave. Unlike the last time when I had you to go get me some hair spray."_

" _Okay baby you know best. I will return soon."_

" _Take your time Mom everything will be all right."_

My mother leaves and I invite John to come and sit on the sofa. I sit on the chaise in front of him.

" _What do you want John? Why are you here? I'm surprised that you're not glued to Natalie now that you have found her. I am fine as you can see."_

" _Evangeline I'm sorry that all of this happened to you."_

" _I too am sorry that it happened John but you have to admit that you had a hand in how it all played out. The kidnapper was aiming to hurt you. He saw how you went back and forth between Natalie and me and he used that to make you decide between us and you decided. You rescued her first and then came to rescue me."_

" _Natalie looked in worst shape than you did so I made a split second decision and rescued her but I still got to you in time."_

" _That doesn't make a bit of difference to me John. You rescued her first and that showed to me that for you she is first. Now I will ask you again what do you want?"_

" _I still want you Evangeline. I still want a relationship with you."_

" _But you don't love me John that is clear so why would you want a relationship with me? You told Natalie that you love her so go be with the one that you love. John you didn't rescue me by the way. Did you notice that when you pulled me from the pole that my hands were free? No you didn't. How else could I have picked up the log from the fire and hit Barber with it or pick up the gun and shoot him? While you were tending to your precious Natalie, Barber was going to knock you out and take one of us back with him. His torture of you wasn't over but I was not going back with him. I saved myself and it's a good thing that I did because you weren't going to do it."_

" _I came in to rescue both of you and I'm so sorry that I didn't get to you first."_

" _We've already established that you are sorry John so you don't have to repeat that but let me tell you what happens now and I need for you to listen very carefully so that I don't have to say this again and so that you understand beyond a shadow of a doubt what I expect from you. This is the_ _ **PLAIN TRUTH:**_

 _I expect nothing from you because that's all that I get from you, nothing_

 _I left instructions for you not to bother me so you are the one who wanted this_ _ **CONFRONTATION**_

 _You say that you want a relationship with me and I won't give in_ _ **NOT WITHOUT A FIGHT**_

 _Now that I have survived this ordeal I label this time in my life,_ _ **'LIFE AFTER THE STORM**_ _._

 _For me it is_ _ **TIME FOR A CHANGE**_

 _And we cannot_ _ **TRY AGAIN**_ _or_

 _Have a relationship_ _ **ONE MORE TIME**_

 _ **WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS**_ _John and for me you are_

 _ **SOMEONE I USED TO KNOW**_ _so that means_

 _that John and Evangeline or JOVAN as Layla calls us (John and Vange) will not have a life that one can write about in_

 _ **THE JOVAN SAGA**_

 _So in plain terms John we are over. There is no need for you to call me or talk to me other than when and or if we have a mutual police case to discuss. For me John from this point on you are just_ _ **'a**_ _ **face in the crowd'**_ _. So now I have said all that I need to say. You can leave now."_ And so he did.

 **THE END**

 **A/N: Please note that in Evangeline's 'Plain Truth' she lists all of the stories that this author has written about these two characters although not in the order in which they were written.**

 **Thnx for reading** _ **The JOVAN Saga**_ **story** _ **.**_ **This ends the collection of one-shots about Evangeline Williamson and John McBain from the television series,** _ **One Life to Live**_ **. Even if you never saw the show I hope that you enjoyed reading the stories. Come back often and read them again. Thnx for your support.**


	16. Chapter 16 Action after Inaction

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Author's Note: Well hey guys! I'm back! It seems that there are many more stories for Evangeline and John that fit more as one-shots than multi-chaptered stories so I've decided to continue 'The JOVAN Saga'. So relax, cozy up with a cuppa and enjoy the read.**

 **Chapter 16 Action after Inaction**

" _ **I had a life before John and I'll have an even better one without him."**_

Evangeline responds to her sister Layla while they sit in the diner talking about Evangeline's constant bad moods since her breakup with John.

What Evangeline doesn't realize is that at that exact moment John is standing within earshot and hears every word she says. Layla does notice John standing in the aisle near them and motions to Evangeline to turn around and that's when she sees John and their eyes meet. Surprisingly enough Evangeline sees the hurt in John's eyes but she does not react to it.

John says to Evangeline, _"I'm glad to see that you are okay and out again."_

Evangeline nods in response to his comment and adds, _"Thank you. Any further word on the investigation?"_

John says his head, _"No but I don't want you to worry about anything."_

Evangeline smirks and concludes the conversation, _"Don't worry. I won't"_

Evangeline then turns and resumes her conversation with Layla. John takes that as a dismissal and turns to leave. Although he came to the diner to get something to eat, this encounter with Evangeline has taken away his appetite. Feeling sad and lonely he walks back to his office. Perhaps drowning himself in work will take away some of the pain of that encounter. It is a lot better than going back to his apartment and drowning himself in liquor.

Upon returning to his office John checks his status board on the Killing Club Killer (KCK) case. There are still no new developments on finding Natalie so John diverts his attention to the other case files on his desk. He can't really concentrate on anything other than his encounter with Evangeline, 'I had a life before John and I'll have an even better one without him'. Her words reverberate in his brain causing an echo that crashes between his ears and strum throughout his body, 'I'll have an even better one without him'. She's already put him in her past when he has her in the forefront of his present and future. Even with the furor of the KCK case John stills holds out hope that he and Evangeline can reconnect. He needs to talk to her. She always helps him to process things better. He does remember that time in his office when she tried to help him early on with the KCK case and he told her that he'd rather try to process things by himself. What a mistake that was because he can really use her now.

John smirks to himself at that thought because he knows that he needs her for more than just the case. He misses her. He misses being around her, talking to her, holding her, making love to her and just having her in his life. What can he do to make her change her mind about moving on without him? Of course his actions involving her and Natalie didn't make it easy for her to stay.

That day when she told him it was over between them he didn't rush after her begging for another chance. Later that same day he told his brother Michael that Evangeline ended things and John said that he didn't expose his feelings not because he didn't love her but because he felt backed into a corner. Just that alone should have opened his eyes to the error of his ways. Evangeline would never back him into a corner. Whenever things got even a little uncertain between them she was always the one giving him an 'out'. But he never availed himself of that 'out' and instead led her on as if he was committed to her. So why would she not express hurt and confusion when he professed his love to another woman. Something he never professed to her. Were the sides reversed John probably would have done the same thing that Evangeline did, end the relationship.

Sitting in his office thinking all of these things John realizes that he's not accomplishing anything. Deciding to make better use of his time John leaves and heads home.

A quiet evening alone is just what Evangeline needs. A nice hot shower, comfy leisure clothes, a light dinner and a good book all allow her body and mind to relax. With determination not to think about anything too heavy she finds herself relaxing and before she knows it she falls asleep on her sofa with her book on her lap.

Two hours later she awakes confused as to why she's on her sofa and not in her bed. Remembering how she got there she smiles and realizes that evidently she was more tired than she thought. Placing her book on the end table next to the sofa she rises to head for bed. Before she makes it to her bedroom door she hears a knock at her apartment door. Who would visit her at this late hour? Fear envelops her when she thinks that the killer may have returned to recapture her. She looks around for something to use as a weapon, but finding nothing, she grabs her cell phone to call for help. Just as she presses the '9' on her phone she hears, _"Evangeline. It's John. May I come in?"_

Evangeline hangs up her phone and walks to the door. Opening it she finds John McBain standing there dressed in jeans, a black tee shirt and sneakers. She catches herself before she smiles because that's one of her favorite outfits for him to wear. She always thought that he looked so relaxed when he dressed like that. It was as if he 'lowered his shields' just for a little while and allowed her to see the John McBain, raw and real. Not the John McBain with the mask and armor that he usually hid behind most of the time.

" _What is it John? Why are you here so late? Is there news on the KCK case?"_

" _No. I just want to see you. I just want to talk to you."_

" _It can wait until tomorrow John. It's late and we both need our rest. Tomorrow you can call my office and make an appointment and then we can talk."_

' _Is it really that bad Evangeline that I have to make an appointment to talk to you?"_

" _John I can't deal with this now. Either make the appointment or just leave me alone. Let me get on with my life."_

" _I can't Evangeline. I can't get on with my life without you. Earlier today when I heard you say that you will have a better life without me that hurt me. All I can do these days is think about us, what we were when we were together. I looked forward to another day. It may not seem to you that I care but I do. I know that I told you that this case was everything and the only thing that I could concentrate on now but I was wrong. I made so many mistakes with us and I don't know how to fix them. I hurt you that I know. But in hurting you I hurt myself too. You made me feel things that I never thought that I would feel again and now that you and I are no longer together I feel so hollow, so empty."_

Not knowing how to respond of even what to say Evangeline just sits on her sofa. So many times before she would try to get John to open up about his feelings and now that he is she is stumped as to what to do so she doesn't do anything. The moments pass and neither of them say a word more.

John begins to feel uneasy when Evangeline doesn't respond so he decides to leave. Rising from the sofa he heads for the door.

" _And just where to you think you're going Lt. McBain? What did you think would happen here? Was I just to welcome you back with open arms after your speech? Now you know how I feel, empty and hollow. So what do you plan to do to make things better? I'm not putting myself back out there for you to hurt me again John. I won't do that. I think better of myself than to do that. I might love you John, I will admit that I still do, but I love myself more than to allow you back in my life to hurt me again."_

" _Evangeline now that I know what it is to live without you let me assure you that I don't want to continue to do so. I love you Evangeline. I love you so much that it scares me. I ran away from you, yes. I was a coward. I thought that putting barriers between us would give me time to make sense of what I feel for you but it backfired. You left me. I want you back. I want us back Evangeline. Please tell me that there is 'a chance' for us and I will do whatever I have to do to prove to you that I am 'in this all of the way' as you once told me. I know that it's late in the evening and we both have busy days ahead of us but don't give up on us Evangeline. Give us another try and I promise that you will not regret it"_

The silence is deafening (if that is possible). Neither of them can move from their spots. Evangeline still sits on the sofa and John stands at the door. Who will talk first? Who will concede to try again? They both have much to lose but they also have so much to gain.

 **A/N: I'll let you imagine what happens next. This is a one-shot. Now on to the next.**


	17. Chapter 17 A million wordless ways

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **(Author's Note: After Evangeline broke up with John she went to visit Nora. She explained to Nora what happened and Nora tried to convince her that John really does love her. Nora tells Evangeline not to get 'hung up' on the words because sometimes people can say the words 'I love you' and not really feel them in their heart. Nora told Evangeline "when he has told you in a million wordless ways that you're the woman of his dreams." (see YouTube video – 'JoVan – A million wordless ways' by Tee958, between minutes 4:50-5:00.**

 **Now fast forward to the conversation in the park between Evangeline and John, after she's rescued from the fire, released from the hospital and after they run into each other at the Love Center fire site. We will change that park conversation a bit and let's see how things progress. Check out the YouTube video of this scene titled 'Jovan – John and Evangeline run into each other at the fire site' by JoVan Olitz, after minute 4:04 is where we change the conversation.)**

 **Chapter 17 A million wordless ways**

After Evangeline and John leave the Love Center they walk through the park. Evangeline tells John that he does not need to escort her because she has other police officers trailing her for her protection.

John – _"I know that I've hurt you."_

Evangeline – _"It's all been said."_

John – _"No it hasn't. I hate that I left you in that fire for even one second. I hate the decision I was forced to make. It destroyed my relationship with you because… because."_

Evangeline – _"What?"_

John – _"It was all I ever wanted."_

Evangeline – _"Prove it."_

John pulls her to him and kisses her. Evangeline returns the kiss for a minute and then pushes away from John.

Evangeline – _"What was that? Why did you do that? You still can't say what you feel!"_

John – _"Doesn't that say anything?"_

Evangeline – _"It doesn't say anything! It doesn't solve anything! It is not enough! This is why we broke up this is why we're going to stay broke up."_

John – _"Don't you think I want to take away the pain I've caused you?"_

Evangeline – _"Well you can't!"_

John – _"What do you want me to do Evangeline? I know that you're in pain but so am I. Do you have any idea how I felt to walk into that gym and find you tied to a pole with a fire burning at your feet? Do you?"_

Evangeline stops for a moment and pushes away her anger to really look at John. Up until this exact moment she didn't care how he felt because all she saw, all that she thought about was his betrayal, his betrayal of rescuing Natalie first. Even though when she was in the hospital she told him that she didn't blame him for that if she was honest with herself she did and still does blame him for that. But even with that clarity of mind she doesn't know how to answer his question so she doesn't.

John waits for Evangeline to respond to his question and when she doesn't he doesn't press her. Instead he says, _"I have to go to the station now. Be safe. I'll call you later."_ John leaves feeling defeated that Evangeline will not reconsider her decision on their breakup.

xXxXxXxXx

Evangeline makes it back to her apartment. She is drained from her conversation with John. Too tired and keyed up to eat she takes a shower and goes to bed. A few hours later she's still awake. Instead of lying in bed tossing and turning she decides to get up and do something constructive.

After talking with Evangeline in the park John returns to the station to talk with Bo about the possibility of their being two persons involved in the Killing Club Killer case. John recounts to Bo parts of his earlier conversation with Evangeline where she mentions that they tried to escape but the other person caught them at the window. Not making any further progress in the case John decides to call it a night and good home. Perhaps a good night's sleep will allow him to get a better perspective on the case.

John makes it to his apartment, takes a shower and lies in bed trying to calm his mind. He doesn't fall asleep at first but at least his mind is no longer racing with all the what ifs and maybes that have been swirling around in his head for the last few weeks. Even though sleep evades him he decides to just lie in bed and allow his body and mind to rest. Then he hears a knock on his door. It is a bit late for someone to stop by so he ignores it. Then he hears another knock. Thinking it is Roxie with some problem he gets up and goes to his door. Opening the door he finds Evangeline. Now he is really concerned. Why is she out at this time of night? Did something else happen to her?

" _Evangeline what are you doing here? Has something else happened to you? Where is your protection detail?"_

" _May I come in? I don't want to have this conversation in the hallway. The officer is outside in his patrol car. I told him that I was coming to speak with you."_

John invites her in and she sits on the sofa. He still is confused as to why she is here. Sitting next to her on the sofa he asks, _"Is something wrong? It's really late for you to be out."_

" _I don't know John. You asked me earlier if I knew how you felt when you saw me tied to the pole. I don't know John. You've never told me how you felt. How am I supposed to know?"_

" _You came all of the way over here at this time of night to talk about that?"_

" _Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I'll leave and we can talk about this some other time."_

" _No, that's not what I meant to say. We can talk about it now. It seems like whenever we try to talk about something we're always interrupted. So you want me to tell you how I felt when I rushed into that gym?"_

" _No John I don't. Your kiss earlier told me how you felt. With you I have put so much weight on hearing the words 'I love you' and I missed all of your actions that said_ _ **in so many wordless ways**_ _that you love me. It's funny that Nora had it right all along. The day that I broke up with you I went to talk with Nora. I needed to talk with my friend. She was going through the after effects of her relationship with Daniel Colson so you can imagine how devastated she was but she still tried to comfort me. I told her about Natalie saying that you told her that you loved her. I was truly hurt that you never said those words to me but Nora scolded me about that. She said that I was too hung up on the words. She said that Daniel always told her that he loved her so that I could see that the words are not that important. Nora asked me why couldn't I see that you have told me_ _ **in a million wordless ways**_ _that I am the woman of your dreams. I see it now John."_

John cannot believe what she is saying. What happened between the talk in the park and now?

" _What changed you mind?"_ John asks Evangeline.

Evangeline doesn't say anything for a minute and John thinks that once again she's not going to answer him but then she asks him if he knows the Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem, "How do I love thee?" Sonnet 43.John replies that he does and so Evangeline starts:

" _You told me that I'm the woman that you want to be with yesterday, today and tomorrow!"_

" _You attached strings to my wrist as a sign of your commitment."_

John understands now that she's delineating his actions that showed that he loves her so he adds some before she can continue:

 _"I asked you to stay with me after you were attacked at the train station."_

 _"I gave you my mother's pearls."_

Evangeline smiles because she realizes that he understands what she's doing and the conclusion that she has made. She continues with her list of actions:

 _"You comforted me after I lost Kelly Cramer's case."_

 _"You comforted me after my run in with Antonio at the gym about my losing his custody case."_

 _"You comforted me on the death of my great aunt and accompanied me to her funeral."_

John adds another to the list:

 _"I asked you not to give up on us. We're worth fighting for."_

They look at each other at that point and both realize that they've arrived at a major turning point. But John is not finished. There are things that he has to say now.

" _Evangeline I did so many things wrong in our relationship but I never lied to you when I said that I didn't want our relationship to end. I want to be with you. I want you in my life. I know that we still have work to do but can I hope that after this conversation that we can start again? I still have a hard time with the words but I'm so glad that you realize now that I have tried to express them in my actions."_

" _John I do realize that now. I also realize that if you really wanted Natalie you could have had her at any time that we were together. The fact that you never did should have told me then that you wanted a relationship with me but I couldn't see that. What do we do now?"_

All during their recounting of John's actions proving his love they're both sitting on the sofa facing each other. They're not touching but they're looking into each other's eyes. Now John takes Evangeline's hands and kisses them. Then he tilts her head so that he can look her in the eyes and says, _"Evangeline, I love you."_

Evangeline gasps. She leans into him and kisses his lips and while still close to him and their breaths are mingled she responds, _"I know."_

 **The End.**


	18. Chapter 18 I didn't know

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **(This is an alternate telling of what happens after John misses the dinner with Evangeline and her former college instructor, Professor Nolan, OLTL March 23, 2005 episode)**

 **Chapter 18 I didn't know**

How do I help my friend? That look of devastation on her face I will never forget. I feel so bad for her. And, I have no idea how my brother will react to this. Darn I don't even know how to react myself. Should I call someone and if so whom? She shouldn't be alone but that's all that she wants right now, to be alone. Oh gosh, I can't believe this. I've lost too but I can't dwell on that now because she needs me. They both need me. Even though I'm pretty sure that John will try to hide his feelings I can't see how he will with this news. Where is he anyway? She said that he was supposed to meet her for dinner but he didn't show. That's not good. How in the world did it work out that I was in the Palace at that exact moment? Thank goodness that I was or she would have been alone. That would have made things even worse. I feel like I'm in a pit and can't climb out. My friend is in her room crying her eyes out and I'm sitting out here in her living room because she locked her bedroom door and won't let me enter. Some crazy idea about she doesn't want me to see her crying and how awful she looks. She couldn't look awful if she tried. She's a beautiful woman and she has every right to cry now.

To have something so unexpected to happen and for it to be something you weren't even aware that it was there in the first place and then it's gone and you come face to face with that loss and realize the tremendous value of what once was but is now gone. My tears fall feeling the pain that my friend now feels and wondering how can I help her through this and knowing that my brother will have a very hard time processing and dealing with his own emotions. I have to be strong for both of them. I need someone to help me through this but she doesn't want anyone else to know.

Initially she thought that what happened was her fault but the emergency room doctor assured her that she did nothing wrong and that it was something that just happened.

Her house phone rings and I answer it.

" _Hello."_

" _Michael? Why are you answering Evangeline's phone?"_

" _John you need to get here now. Evangeline needs you."_

" _Michael what's wrong with Evangeline? Is she sick?"_

" _John, just come now. I will tell you everything when you get here."_

As I wait for John to arrive I go to check on Evangeline and to let her know that John is on his way. I knock on her door but get no answer so I try the doorknob and thankfully it's no longer locked. I peek in and see that Evangeline's asleep on the bed. Poor dear cried herself to sleep. Quietly I back out of the room and go back to the living room to wait for John.

Although it seem like hours to me but I'm sure it wasn't, John finally arrives. Of course he's worried and anxious to know what's going on and why I'm here since Evangeline's not sitting here with me when he arrives.

" _Michael where's Evangeline? Is she sick?"_

" _John calm down. Right now Evangeline's asleep. She's had a very difficult evening. Where were you John? She said that you were supposed to meet her for dinner but you never showed."_

John bows his head knowing that he will need to explain to Evangeline just why he didn't make it to dinner. He was locked in an evidence room at the station and he wasn't alone. But John is not ready to explain that to Michael so instead he says,

" _I was held up at the station. What happened to Evangeline and why are you here?"_

" _Sit down John. This will take some time,"_ Michael says.

John notices that Michael looks away when he tells him to sit down and that causes John to get nervous that something awful has happened. He wants to see Evangeline but he doesn't want to wake her and he knows that this is serious by the way that Michael is acting. John has so many questions running around in his head but he will wait. He will listen to Michael, for now.

Michael tells John what happened tonight with Evangeline.

" _I was at the Palace soon after Evangeline finished dinner. She said that you were expected and she tried to call you but couldn't reach you. As I walked her to the exit I bent to kiss her cheek and say goodnight when I noticed that she felt like she had a fever. She told me that her stomach had started cramping and she was nauseous. I convinced her to let me take her to the emergency room since I thought that she might have food poisoning. We made it to the emergency room and the staff got her settled in the cubicle. By the time that the ER doctor arrived they already had sent specimens for testing. During the doctor's examination the cramping increased and then she started bleeding."_

At the mention of bleeding John's face loses all of its coloring. He looks pale. My goodness, he thinks. What is happening?

Michael continues speaking all the while keeping a close eye on his brother for any additional signs of distress.

" _The bleeding signified pelvic cramping and not abdominal so food poisoning was ruled out. There was also clotting and after examining that and receiving the test results it was determined that Evangeline had a miscarriage."_

When Michael says the word 'miscarriage' his own voice is now shaky and he has to find the strength to not cry.

Meanwhile, at those words, 'Evangeline had a miscarriage', John can't believe what he's hearing. Caught up in his own world he thinks, 'Evangeline was pregnant'. John starts breathing fast and Michael fears that he will hyperventilate and pass out.

" _John! John take a deep breath,"_ Michael says as he grabs John's shoulders to get his attention. John's breathing slows and Michael continues speaking.

" _Apparently almost two months ago Evangeline had some kind of infection and her physician prescribed antibiotics. That medication counteracted with her birth control pill and the result was the pregnancy. It was not a viable pregnancy and thus the miscarriage._

 _John I need you to hear this and understand this. Evangeline was not at fault even though at first she blamed herself. It was only recently discovered that the particular drug had any effect on birth control pills. The manufacturer now has warning labels on the medicine and physicians and pharmacists are now aware of this. John do you hear me?"_

Michael looks at his brother who at this time sits slumped with head in his hands and his shoulders shaking. Michael reaches over and pulls his brother into his arms. John's not making a sound but his shoulders continue to shake and Michael feels wetness on his own shoulder. John is crying. Michael has only seen his brother cry two times, once when their father died and the other when John's fiancé, Caitlin, died. The two brothers sit there for several minutes until they are both spent because John's tears brought out Michael's tears. Michael hurts for his brother. He knows that John cares deeply for Evangeline. No. Michael knows that John loves Evangeline but something holds him back from allowing himself to fully do so. Michael releases John and watches John gather himself.

" _I need to see her Michael. Thank you so much for being there for her. I owe you,"_ John says as he squeezes his brother's shoulder to stress his gratitude.

" _You don't owe me anything John. You would have done the same thing if it was Marcie, and anyway, Evangeline is my friend,"_ Michael responds.

" _Well thanks anyway,"_ John says as he rises to go see Evangeline.

Michael stops him though before John leaves and tells him, _"John, on the way from the hospital Evangeline was very subdued and she kept saying the same thing over and over again."_

John asks, _"What was it that she said Michael?"_

Michael responds, _"She kept saying,_ _ **'I didn't know.'**_ _"_


	19. Chapter 19 Scared of Lonely

**Un-betaed**

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **(Inspired by song by Beyoncé, "Scared of Lonely"** _ **)**_

 **Chapter 19 Scared of Lonely**

I continue to ask myself, 'Why doesn't he love me? I've made myself easy to love.' Yes I sound like a wimp, a weakling, and a needy woman. So what? I don't care what anybody else thinks. This is how I feel. I love the man, so sue me. No way did I plan to fall in love with him. He was someone to scratch that occasional 'itch' which after he scratched it the first time, the itch became constant. For me it grew from a 'casual sexual liaison' to a relationship. So what he 'attached strings' but he still holds back from committing totally to me. Sure it's more than how he acts to and around Natalie, it's something deeper than that. Now I need to reevaluate what causes me to hang so tightly to him. An otherwise confident and independent woman, that all seems to disappear when it concerns him. I ask myself does he feel anything other than lust for me? Physically we get along very well but emotionally I'm doing all of the heavy lifting.

 _I'm in this fight and I'm swinging and my arms are getting tired_

 _I'm trying to beat this emptiness, but I'm running out of time_

 _I'm sinking in the sand and I can barely stand_

 _I'm lost in this dream. I need you to hold me._

 _I'm scared of lonely_

 _And I'm scared of being the only_

 _Shadow I see along the wall_

 _And I'm scared the only heartbeat_

 _I hear beating is my own_

 _And I'm scared of being alone_

 _I can't seem to breathe when I am lost_

 _In this dream I need you to hold me_

I sing these words over and over again, sitting on my bed, grabbing my pillow as some way to anchor me to the now. I feel these words so deeply. I hold the tears at bay but it doesn't matter. The singing now becomes more of a chant. Bit by bit the volume increases and I do become lost in this storm of emotions. How can I convey to John the weight of what I feel without him feeling he needs to reciprocate some way even if he does not feel the way that I do? That would only make things worse.

 _I can't seem to breathe when I am lost_

 _In this dream I need you to hold me_

Sitting in the dark, save for the dim glimmer of the light from the hallway, the ambiance intensifies the moroseness of what I'm feeling.

 _I need you to hold me_

Perhaps like a nun in a distant convent or a monk in a far away monastery I say the words over and over again until they seep inside me. Losing track of the time I continue to sing the words from the beginning. The pain of the words lessens, as they now become my affirmation, my cleansing and my acknowledgment of my weakness that I have fought against for such a long time. Maybe it is more than the relationship with John. Maybe it is really admitting to myself that it's okay to feel sometimes. It doesn't make me less of what I want to be. It is a part of me.

The air feels heavy in the apartment as if the sadness has taken shape and envelops the walls and furniture and everything in between to match the mood of its occupant.

But there is more than one person present here now. Uneasy with the way that his last conversation with Evangeline ended John risks making her more upset by deciding to just drop by her apartment. He doesn't call to alert her of his arrival. In doing so he enters the apartment and hearing her singing he stops to listen. He can sense that it is not a lively song so he stops in the hallway and listens to ascertain her mood.

 _I try to be patient, but I'm hurting deep inside_

 _And I can't keep waiting, I need comfort late at night_

 _And I can't find my way, won't you lead me home?_

 _Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me_

John notices that Evangeline's voice cracks at the words, _I need you to hold me_. He knows something is definitely wrong and it doesn't take a genius to know that he has a part in her feeling this way. With his back to the wall his body slides down so that he's sitting on the floor listening to Evangeline pour out her pain in song. No way can he remain stoic as this beautiful young lady expresses her hurt and her need for comfort. After hearing Evangeline sing the words over and over again John can no longer remain in place. As he approaches her open bedroom door he hears again,

 _And I'm scared of being the only_

 _Shadow I see along the wall_

 _And I'm scared the only heartbeat_

 _I hear beating is my own_

 _And I'm scared of being alone_

 _I can't seem to breathe when I am lost_

 _In this dream I need you to hold me_

Walking into the bedroom John sees Evangeline but she doesn't see nor hear him enter. She doesn't hear because John removed his shoes while in the hallway and she doesn't see because her eyes are closed.

Without hesitation John walks to her bed, sits down and pulls Evangeline into his arms and as he does he hears her sing,

 _Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me_

And he does. He holds her tightly.


	20. Chapter 20 Family Time

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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots**

 **Chapter 20 Family Time**

The sound of things falling to the floor, doors closing and laughter ringing out are all signs that the children are in the house. Quiet is usually an indication that either the children are not here, outside or asleep. Don't get me wrong though. I love my children dearly but I also admit that they can be a handful to say the least.

If you had told me eight years ago that I would be the father of three children I would not have believed you. The first one, Liam, was a surprise and don't get me started about all the drama about his paternity. His mother and I finally got over the destruction that it caused. Now the other two children are simply miracles.

" _Dad, stop daydreaming. You have that look on your face again,"_ Liam says as he takes my hand and leads me to the family room. It's family time. The McBain family makes it a point to spend time together as a family. Mom and Dad both have busy schedules but we make a point to set aside at least one evening each week for just family time. Not to say that we don't spend other time together but we make a concerted effort not to have any distractions or interruptions during 'family time'.

Two little whirlwinds rush by Liam and grab me by my legs, with one child each on a leg. I see Liam smile. He did the same thing when he was little like that. Liam stands aside to watch the twins Aiden and Kiera, both three years old, hang onto my legs as I continue walking toward the family room. Once I sit on the sofa the twins dislodge and jump onto my lap. I look over at Liam and wink, and then grab both of the twins to prevent their escape. Liam and I tickle the twins into a laughing fit. _"What's going on in there?"_ we all hear and look at each other. Kiera is the first one to speak, _"Ugh oh, we're in trouble now."_

She enters the family room, having finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner. _"How about we go outside for a walk today? It's a beautiful evening and I could use some fresh air."_ Everyone seems to like that idea so we head for the front door.

Exiting the house Liam grabs the twins' hands and walk down the sidewalk. He's such a good big brother and Aiden and Kiera adore him. They follow him everywhere, like his shadow. We walk down to the neighborhood park and the twins rush to the swings with Liam keeping a watchful eye on his brother and sister. I put them each on a swing and push them as Liam moves over to the basketball court. The goal post is lower so Liam scores many baskets as his siblings swing.

Aiden and Kiera soon tire of swinging and want to join Liam on the basketball court. Did someone say 'Liam's shadows'? Their mother pulls out smaller balls for them to use from her bag. Their hands won't fit around a regular sized basketball and not even the smaller basketball that Liam's using. She claps each time that Liam makes a basket. A big grin fills Liam's face each time that she applauds his efforts. Aiden and Kiera start throwing up their balls but of course they don't score as many baskets as Liam but she offers encouragement at each attempt.

I join in on the clapping and even take a few shots with Liam's ball. I miss on purpose and the twins shout, _"Daddy, Liam made more baskets than you did. That's okay keep trying."_ I take one more shot and the ball goes in and all the children clap loudly.

" _Miss Evangeline, do you want to try?"_ Liam asks and hands the ball to her. She throws up the ball to the rim and it bounces into the net. _"Yay Mommy!"_ the twins shout. _"Good shot,"_ says Liam. I give her a high five.

So with that the McBain family continues 'family time' in the park until it's time to return home and prepare for bed.


End file.
